Harleywing: One-Shots
by GraysonandQuinn
Summary: One-Shots to accompany the series 'Harleywing'; these are either things we wanted to expound on or add to the books, but didn't have time to. Rated M for safety. There isn't a ton of smut or violence to justify this rating, but in the event that there is in the future, it's rated M.
1. Harleywing One-Shot: Christmas Shopping

_**Taking place in between Parts Four and Five.**_

 _Deck the halls with boughs of holly-_

"Fa la la la laaaa la la la laaa…" Dick sang as he turned his car off. He tugged his beanie onto his dark hair and smiled in the mirror, getting out of his car and whistling the tune cheerily as he walked through the parking lot.

Today was the day he'd set aside to go Christmas shopping. He did it every year, picked out a day when he would go to the mall in Downtown Gotham alone to find gifts for his family. Ivy was coming to stay with them soon, and Damian had finally gone home to Wayne Manor. His boots crunched in the snow, slush gathering on the toes as he walked through the crosswalk and opened the door for the group of teenage girls coming out. They giggled and thanked him and then went on chatting, and Dick went into the mall.

 _Come on it's lovely weather_

 _for a sleigh ride together with you._

 _Outside the snow is falling_

 _and friends are calling 'yoo-hoo'_

 _Come on it's lovely weather_

"For a sleigh ride together with you," Dick sang along with the radio playing through speakers in the ceiling, shoving his hands in the pockets of his cargo jacket. He stopped and stomped the snow off of his boots before stepping into the busy crowd of holiday shoppers. Everyone seemed to be going somewhere. As he idled down towards the center of the mall, Dick gazed at the Christmas displays in windows and watched the children running towards the massive sparkling tree in the center pavilion. A grin broke across his face, and he walked a little faster towards a fenced in kiddie area with a long, congested line extending from the entrance; tired looking parents holding whiny children and bags of goodies for the season. Dick leaned against the fence, watching the children take turns sitting on Santa's lap.

 _...better not pout, I'm telling you why_

 _Santa Claus is comin to town_

 _he's making a list, checking it twice_

 _gonna find out who's naughty or nice_

"Santa Claus is comin to town," he hummed quietly, and then mentally shook himself. He pulled out a crumpled piece of notebook paper.

* * *

We'll need something for Will and Molly, and Lilly, of course

Bruce & Selina

All your brothers

Stephanie Cass and Barbara

Sam?

Do NOT forget Alfred!

Pick up new dog toys

If you want to get something for Clark (not your dog)

Me of course ;) something good

We should get something for Carrie too Arkham doesn't do Christmassy things

Pick up some Watermelon

cereal (don't you dare buy Cocoa Puffs again Richard Grayson)

eggs

dog food

Do you want to get a present for Gordon? I think we should, he's accommodated us for this long…

Dont forget the cereal!

And DONT come home with two hundred dollars worth of pregnancy clothes again, Dick I have enough

I love you :)

* * *

Dick smiled down at Harley's notes, scrawled all over the crumpled page. He knew just what to get his brothers, and Harley had given him a few ideas for Bruce and Selina; as far as he could tell, he knew where to get everything on this list.

Except for _her_ gift.

He'd thought and thought for the longest time about what he could buy her. He'd finally come to the conclusion that he just wasn't creative enough, or he hadn't thought hard enough. He wanted her to have everything she could ever want. Problem was, he didn't _know_ what she wanted. He started off down the mall again, looking at the stores around him.

Finally coming to a stop in front of a jewelry store, Dick cocked his head. "Is this too cliched of a Christmas gift?" he pondered aloud.

"I say yes," a voice said behind him, and he turned. A kid, about twelve years old with ginger hair stood just to his left. Dick looked at the boy.

"I suppose you would know?"

"I don't," the boy shrugged. "But I don't think your lady would like jewelry, is all."

Dick narrowed his eyes and then spun around, just in time to catch the boy's accomplice with Dick's wallet in his hand. He plucked it back out, checked to see that everything was in it, and then smirked at the boy. "Good diversion. You almost had me." He pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to the one who'd pickpocketed him. "Scram, kid," he said, and the boys ran off into the crowd. Dick shook his head, continuing on his way down the mall.

 _Gotham._ he sighed.

 _Oh-oh, the mistletoe,_

 _hung where you can see._

 _Somebody waits for you,_

 _kiss her once for me-_

The music cut off abruptly as an announcement came over the loudspeaker; a sale in kitchen appliances in the mega chain store attached to the mall. Dick smirked. _Harley would kill me if I bought her something like that. 'Merry Christmas! I bought you a coffee pot, go make me some.'_

"Would you like to sample Ralph Lauren's Polo Number Five?" a woman asked, and Dick stopped.

"Sure," he walked closer to the vendor's table. _Would Harley like perfume?_ "What do you have for women?"

"Looking for a gift?" the woman inquired brightly, smiling as she handed him a tester strip of the cologne. He smelled it and nodded.

"Yeah. This is nice, though. Maybe my Axe cologne is getting a little tired…"

The woman laughed, pushing her highlighted brown hair away from her face. "Well we have plenty of fragrances for women, if you'd like to see. This one is a personal favorite," she picked up a small orange bottle, sprayed it on a test strip, and handed it to him. He coughed, and she laughed again. "It is a bit strong," she agreed.

"What about that one?" he asked, pointing at a little bottle, the glass shaped like a rose.

"A good choice," she smiled warmly, letting him smell it. He smiled at the flowery scent.

"Yeah, I like that one. I'll take that one. And the first one you showed me." Dick pulled out his checkbook, and she handed him the little pre-gift wrapped box and his bag. "Thanks! Merry Christmas," he smiled, waving as he walked away. The woman returned the greeting after him, and he looked around the mall. _A little bottle of perfume isn't enough. And it just doesn't feel perfect yet…_

Dick continued on his way, walking into another shop. He chose presents for his brothers, and for Bruce and Selina. He followed the smell of hot cider to a small shop around the corner in the busy mall, smiling at it's brightly decorated windows. A little bell dinged over his head when he stepped in, and the old woman behind the counter smiled brightly at him.

"Well hello, Darlin!" she called. "Oh! Don't forget to stamp your feet, Sweetheart, the snow is a bitch to clean up," the woman laughed. She was in her mid eighties. Dick glanced over his shoulder at the mall full of people, and then he shrugged and stamped his already clean boots anyway.

"Merry Christmas," Dick smiled around the festive little candy store, and the woman laughed heartily. Dick couldn't help but wonder if he'd made some kind of joke, but the woman shook her head.

"It is a festive season, I suppose," she agreed. "Looking for anything in particular?"

"Um," Dick looked around at the walls of sweets, "candy?" The woman laughed again, and Dick smiled. "I'm looking for a gift for my fianceé."

"Well you walked past a jewelry store already," she snorted, coming around the counter to look at him.

"Yeah, I just don't know," Dick confessed, running a hand through his hair.

"Well sweets are a good start. Whats her name?"

"Harley," he smiled. "She's definitely the kind of person you'd get candy for, but I don't know… Can pregnant women have candy?"

"If she doesn't mind you fattening her up more," the woman smiled at him. "Is there anything she likes?"

"Watermelon," he laughed. "She seems to want nothing but watermelon."

"I've got plenty of watermelon candies for you then," she smiled. "This way."

After talking to the store owner for a while longer, and taste testing every candy she sold him, Dick bid her goodbye and went on in search of his perfect gift. He wandered to the center of the mall, where kids swarmed the gates outside of the little Santa's village erected in the center, bustling with noise.

 _They're singin' deck the halls-_

 _It's not like christmas at all._

 _I remember when you were here_

"And all the fun we had last year," Dick sang under his breath, pulling the crumpled list out of his pocket and mentally going over it again.

"Richard Grayson, is that you?" A voice called, and Dick's head snapped up just as Roy Harper bear hugged him tight. He cried out and laughed, and Roy stepped back.

"What are you doing here?" Dick asked, laughing a bit, still startled. A baseball cap was pulled low over Roy's messy red hair, a black coat that seemed too big for his shoulders draped over his torso like a blanket.

"Taking Lian to see Santa," he nodded towards the line, where a dark haired woman in leather looked not at all pleased to be surrounded by shouting kids. Her own daughter, with a plastic bow slung over her shoulders, didn't seem to mind her mother's sour mood, bouncing excitedly. "Isn't this fun, Grayson? Me with a kid, you getting married with a baby on the way- our Titans days seem far, far behind us."

"They do," Dick agreed, smiling at his friend's daughter, imagining taking Haly to see Santa Claus someday soon. "How have you been?"

"We get around," he shrugged. "You shopping for presents for _your_ lady villain?" Roy grinned. Dick laughed and looked down at the list before tucking it into his pocket.

"Haven't found anything good yet," he confessed. Roy glanced over as his daughter squealed for him to come see Santa too.

"Well do yourself a favor," he laughed. " _Don't_ get her a gym membership. Even if your intentions were to go to the gym _with_ her to do something _together_ for once, she will immediately assume you're calling her fat and stop talking to you."

Dick laughed as Roy walked away. "I'll remember that!" he called. "And merry Christmas!"

 _I don't need to hang my stocking_

 _There upon the fireplace_

 _Santa Claus won't make me happy_

 _With a toy on Christmas day_

"I just want you for my… Own…" Dick slowed down as he walked past the Victoria's Secret, biting his lip. He was more than likely the only person in the entire city, other than Harley herself, that knew how much she loved feeling pretty when they were fooling around. What girl didn't? But Harley had a collection of pretty underwear and lace nightdresses that could only be described as a guilty pleasure. _For you,_ Dick thought, well aware that he was blushing crimson just thinking about it. He also knew that she'd been down lately because of the baby weight, and something new and pretty might cheer her up.

 _If she doesn't take it the wrong way,_ he thought. ' _Gee, Dick, how thoughtful of you. A gift for me that's really for you',_ she'd laugh at him. But then again, he didn't have any other ideas…

 _It's worth a shot,_ he shrugged, walking in the entrance. He was almost immediately greeted by a tiny girl, more than likely in high school.

"Hi! Shopping for a gift?" she asked brightly. Dick was relieved to see that, of the stores in the mall, this seemed to be the least busy. Another girl hung around the counter, lazily scrolling through her phone.

"Yeah, for my fianceé." He loved saying that. "Something nice. I want her to feel pretty, you know?" He blushed, and the girl laughed. Her name card said Amber.

"That is seriously so _cute_ ," she giggled. "Okay, well, first off, do you know her size?"

Dick blurted it out before she could say another word. The girl at the counter looked up as Amber laughed again.

"Did you want something different?" Dick asked in confusion.

"No," Amber assured him. "Guys just don't usually know their girlfriend's bra size _quite_ that fast. So what are you looking for?"

Dick shrugged self consciously, glancing around. "Well what do _you_ girls think? I mean… I'm at a loss for what to get her."

"Well believe it or not, this is a great choice," the girl at the counter smiled and walked over to them. "We can never have too much underwear, and this stuff is nice, but expensive. Someone else buying it for us? It's great."

Amber laughed. "I'd be happy," she agreed. "Okay. Let's find you some nice stuff for your lady."

"Alright…" He trailed after her as she led him to a wall of lingerie.

"Are you looking for this kind of stuff, or more basic things?" Amber asked. The other woman, slightly older with a nametag that read 'Holly' had followed, interested in helping.

"I don't really know," he ran a hand through his hair, and he shifted his shopping bags a bit. Dick took a deep breath. "I just want her to feel beautiful. I want her to feel sexy-" he laughed a bit- "she's pregnant, and she's been up and down lately. I want her to know she's special and gorgeous and… Well yeah, she's still pretty darn sexy."

"Okay," Amber beamed, and Holly laughed. "Okay I think we can help you with that."

"That's so fuckin cute," Holly laughed, and Dick blushed. "It is," she insisted. "You wouldn't even know the number of Gothamite sleazebags we get in here who just want something for their girlfriend to wear for their benefit. It's really sweet."

"Thanks," he muttered with a smile.

"Here," Holly led him across the room and pulled out a loose satin nightdress with lace trim around the flowy skirt. "This one is a personal favorite, and it will look nice on a pregnant lady," she beamed. Dick took it, running a hand over the soft pink fabric.

"Do you have anything colorful?" He asked.

"We have a lot of underwear sets that are in a variety of colors," Amber assured him. "Come on, I'll show you."

They led him around the store, helping him pick more things that he thought Harley would like, cooing every time he made a comment about her. In all truthfulness, the more the two girls helped him, the more he felt like he'd made a good decision. He'd made a mental note of all of her clothing sizes in the past couple of days while he was doing laundry, so he was sure they'd fit. Once he'd accumulated a pile that was sure to cost him more than enough, Holly walked him to the counter.

"Your fianceé is a really lucky lady," she smiled, checking the items out on the register. Dick smiled to himself.

"I'm a lucky guy, actually," he laughed, sliding his card and punching in the code.

"Well. Good luck to you both," she handed him the bright pink bag, "and merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas to you two, too," he smiled at Holly and Amber, walking out of the store.

 _Okay. I got presents for my brothers, family… Last stop is groceries_ … He bit his lip. He still felt like it wasn't good enough. It wasn't meaningful. It was heartfelt, but it lacked sentiment. He wanted their first Christmas to be perfect together. _But_ , he thought with a sigh as he walked back to his car _it will have to do for now. You can always go out and find the right gift later._

He started the car and pulled out of the lot and into traffic.

 _Last Christmas I gave you my heart,_

 _But the very next day,_

 _you gave it away._

 _This year, to save me from tears,_

"I'll give it to someone special…" Dick looked out the windows at the snow covered shops as he passed, driving back towards his home. He smiled at Lilly building a snowman in the yard when he drove into their garage, gathering up his bags. He paused and then dug around for the cologne he'd bought, spritzing a little on himself.

"Harley, I'm back," he called when he walked in the door, Wally and Clark bounding around his feet. He put the groceries up on the counter.

"What is that god-awful _smell_?" she asked, stepping into the kitchen. A blanket was draped over her shoulders. Dick frowned.

"You don't like it?" he asked. Wally barked and he shushed him.

"It's potent," she wrinkled her nose. "Anyway, I'm glad you're back." She held a mug up. "I can't get my cocoa to taste right."

"Hold on," he smiled, and she eyed the bright pink Victorias Secret bag nestled among the others. "I have to go hide your presents." She pouted.

"How about you fix my cocoa while telling me what you got me?" she offered with a smile.

"Oh no you don't," he smiled, carrying the bags into the living room and setting them down. He returned for her cocoa. "All your presents aren't bought yet."

"Please," she begged, batting her eyelashes. Dick pursed his lips with a smile.

"I don't know…" He walked to the fridge, pulling out milk and chocolate syrup. He poured a bit of milk in and then added the chocolate syrup, putting it in the microwave.

"Well it just went from no to I don't know, so I'm already making progress," she giggled. She waddled over to him in her blanket. Dick sprinkled cinnamon in her cocoa and handed it to her.

"Fine," he smirked. "Go get the Victoria's Secret bag."

"Ooo!" Harley squealed and slid on her socks over to the table. She took a sip of her cocoa before setting it on the table and pulling the blankets higher over her shoulders as she scampered into the living room. She came back into the kitchen, sliding on the hardwood floors, and set the bag on the table. "This first," she said before taking another sip of cocoa. Dick smiled down at her.

"Is it to your liking?" he asked.

"Delicious," she grinned, "thank you." She took another sip before setting it aside. "Presents!" She giggled and pulled the tissue paper out of the bag. She gasped as she started peeking through the contents. "What did I do to deserve these?"

"What do you mean? You were being you," Dick kissed her cheek. She held up a negligee and laughed.

"I don't think that's it."

"It is. I just wanted to get you something to feel pretty in," he shrugged, looking over her shoulder in the bag. "I don't even really know what the girls who were helping me threw in there. They said you needed it." Harley continued to dig through the bag.

"Oh yay!" She pulled out two bras. "I needed new bras." She gave him a quick kiss. Dick laughed.

"I'm glad you like your early Christmas present," he kissed her cheek and shook his head, starting to put the groceries away. Harley giggled as she looked at everything in the bag. She nudged Wally away with her foot, and he followed Dick. Grabbing the bag, she laughed as she disappeared upstairs.

"You know, I _shouldn't_ have given them to you. I cave in to you too easily," he laughed, not noticing she'd gone as he put things into the fridge, pausing to eat a handful of grapes before shoving them into the drawer.

"Do you know how ridiculously comfy these things are?" Harley asked as she came back into the kitchen. She was wearing a navy babydoll negligee that cut just below her hips. It cut low across her chest, and the loose flowing fabric around her stomach was sheer. She pulled the tag out. "Way nicer than a bra on pregnancy boobs," she laughed as she pulled the tag out of the matching panties.

"Yeah, so I heard. I wanted to get you something you could use before and after you're pregnant, and I think-" Dick choked on a grape when he turned around, and he stared at her. The refrigerator door caught his butt as it closed behind him, and he jumped, shaking off his surprise. He smiled. "Aren't you cold?" he asked as he crossed the room, but he couldn't help his arms sliding around her waist; he couldn't stop himself from biting his lip with a smile. Harley laughed.

"Well I did leave my blanket upstairs," she teased and kissed his nose. "But- my cocoa!" she remembered. She danced out of his arms and over to the table to drink some more out of her mug. Dick laughed. He couldn't tear his eyes off of her.

"If you're cold, I can warm you up," he smiled.

"Oh really?" Harley teased, her voice dripping with mock surprise. She set her cocoa aside and moved back into his arms. "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"Oh you already ruined your Christmas present, I don't want to ruin your surprise," he smiled slyly, leaning closer to kiss her cheek before whispering in her ear. "You look very pretty." Harley giggled.

"Thank you…" She paused. "That smell _is_ you!"

"I bought a new cologne," Dick blinked in surprise. "Is it that bad?"

"No," she laughed. "It's just," she paused and sniffed him, "strong, and different, and… not you." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed his neck. "You smell like some fancy guy not my fiance."

"I'm not fancy?" he feigned offense, making a mental note to return the cologne, before closing his eyes happily.

"Absolutely not." Harley tucked her head against his neck. "But you do make the _best_ hot chocolate."

"Well then at least I'm good for something," he laughed. His hand trailed up her side, his thumb tracing over her skin.

"You're good for a lot of things," she assured him. She closed her eyes at his touch. She'd almost forgotten she was wearing the lingerie he'd bought her, but his touch on her exposed skin reminded her. "Except for remembering to let the dogs out. You're not good at that."

"No," he smiled, his lips brushing her cheek. "You're my wonderfully talented baby, my beautiful crazy girl." He kissed down her neck, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're good for much more than I am," he praised, smiling against her skin. She giggled. Her belly was pressed against him, and her hands bunched in his collar.

"I'm glad you finally realized it," she teased. Dick stroked her baby bump before sliding his hand around her back. He kissed her collarbone. "I still have a bunch more presents to try on," Harley laughed. "Although this one is really nice… and cute. And I think it's cute on me, but I can't quite get the full effect," she giggled as she peered down around her belly.

"I think it looks incredible. And you look incredible," he added. He caught her face and stole a kiss. "I'm going to make you dinner. Whatever you want." Her face lit up.

"Can we have takeout? I _really_ want some Mongolian beef and crab Rangoon."

"Yes. Mongolian beef yes, but I don't think you can have seafood," he winced. "Crab Rangoon really isn't seafood, right? There's no crab in them."

"Some have a little. But it's just a _tiny_ amount. Just like when you kiss me to let me taste wine." She stood on tiptoe and rested her forehead against his. "Please."

" _Fine_ ," he grinned, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He found the number in his contacts and raised it to his ear. "I can't say no to you," he sighed again with a smile.

"Yay!" she cheered. "And now we don't have to worry about the all too likely probability of you burning dinner. It'll be eatable," she grinned.

"Look, yet _another_ thing that I'm useless at," he smirked, waving her away as he started placing their order. Harley stuck her tongue out at him before going over to look in the remaining grocery bags. She smiled when she found dog treats.

"Clark! Wally!" she called as she opened the treats and pulled two out. The dogs ran over to her. Wally immediately sat down when he saw the treat, his tail wagging. "I didn't tell you to sit yet," she whined. Wally laid down and then rolled over onto his back, pawing the air.

"Perfect, thank you!" Dick smiled and then hung up the phone. He walked up behind Harley and grabbed her butt, kissing her cheek. "Hey you." She jumped a little and rolled her eyes.

"Wally's doing his tricks before I tell him to," she whined. Wally sat again, offering his paw to shake. Harley pouted. "He's ruining the fun." She held up the dog treats. Dick laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Then do them out of order; it throws him off," he rested his chin on her shoulder, smiling up at her.

"Well maybe I'll just ignore him and give one to Clark. Sit." She focused on Clark but both dogs obeyed. "Stay," she told Clark. "Stay," she warned again as she carefully set the treat on the top of his nose. His eyes were focused on the treat but only his tail twitched. "Okay," Harley giggled, and Clark tilted his nose down and licked up the treat. Dick laughed as Wally stared at her with a look that could only be described as a dog's version of utter disdain. Clark wagged his tail and nuzzled her hand.

"Don't tease my dog just cuz you like yours better," he scolded, biting her ear. He tossed Wally a treat and he caught it in the air, crunching it up happily.

"But now I have an extra one." She held up the remaining treat in her hand. "Who am I supposed to give it to?"

"Throw it on the ground and see who gets it first," he suggested, his hands on her hips as he kissed down her neck.

"But then they're fighting." She turned her head toward him, her lower lip sticking out as she pouted. "Will you give me another treat _please_?"

"Fine," he handed her the bag, rolling his eyes.

"Thank you." She kissed his cheek as she dug another treat out. She tossed one to each dog before turning around and putting the bag on the table behind Dick. Wrapping her arms around his waist, she gave him a sloppy kiss and giggled. He laughed a little and kissed her back.

"Is this _my_ treat now?" he asked, kissing her nose.

"Well you did buy me _lots_ of treats." She grinned. "Or did Bruce technically buy them because a bag of Victoria Secret's goodies costs a lot of money." She kissed his nose just to copy him. "But I will make sure you enjoy every penny."

"Hey, you know I did have a job for a while? I made _some_ money. You wouldn't believe how much they pay cops in this town. There has to be an incentive to work a suicide job, you know," he laughed. "I bought you the treats. Bruce bought the house," he grinned, pulling her close.

"Thank you." She kissed him tenderly. "And thank you for taking care of me," she kissed him again, "and thank you for ordering food." She smiled into the next kiss. "I'm starved."

"Now we just have to wait for it to actually get here," he sighed, and then kissed her again. Harley laughed.

"If you _need_ to make the situation negative," she teased and rolled her eyes. "You just ordered _and_ it would've taken you longer to cook me something than it will for the delivery to get here I'm sure. Besides," she grinned, "now you're not busy while the foods being made."

"You are definitely right about that," he smiled lovingly at her, catching her lips in a kiss.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say the treat I'm wearing is more of a treat for you," she teased. Dick bit his lip, blushing a bit as he looked down.

"Yeah, yeah, go ahead and make fun of me for it," he laughed a little and cupped her chin, looking at her. There was a touch of amusement to his face, and one eyebrow was lifted playfully. "Say whatever you want. As long as you like it, I'm happy."

"I like it," she assured him. "And you like it." She grinned. "Sounds like a win win to me."

"I can't argue with that sound logic," he agreed, stroking her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too." She leaned her head against his hand. "And your ridiculous dogs," she added, "but can you please stop Wally from looking at me like that?" He was sitting to the side of them with his tail wagging and his tongue out as he waited hopefully for another treat.

"Wally, go to your bed," Dick commanded. The dog stopped wagging his tail and walked dejectedly towards the living room. Harley kissed Dick's hand.

"Now he's sad," she teased.

"Pretty sure he'll get over it."

"And you told _me_ not to be mean to him." She bounced on her heels happily and pushed her glasses back up her nose.

"I did-" Dick halted when the doorbell rang. "Well there's dinner. Not quite the wait we thought it'd be," he smiled, digging his wallet out of his pocket before going to answer the door. Wally went yapping down the hall after Dick, and Clark trotted after. Harley giggled and reached for her cocoa. She stuck her tongue out when it was only lukewarm and set it aside. Dick came back and set the takeout on the counter. "Alright. Hungry?" he smiled, pulling out the boxes.

"You know it," Harley laughed. She went over to the cabinet to grab cups. "Pick your poison. What are you thirsty for?"

"I'll just take water," he smiled a little, dumping his chicken fried rice onto a plate. He put her food on a plate for her and then carried them to the table before taking a bite of crab rangoon.

"Don't eat all of that!" Harley set his water in front of him. "You have your egg rolls, leave my rangoon alone."

"Fine," he smirked, shoving it in her mouth. He grinned when she squeaked in surprise, taking a bite of his egg roll.

"You're a jerk," she mumbled as she swallowed the food. "Now I'm stealing some of your rice." She snatched up his fork.

"Don't take my food," he snapped, laughing, hiding his plate under his arm.

"I can do whatever I want." She gave him a kiss as she laughed before sitting down. Dick bit his lip, distracted by the satin fabric falling over her waist. He caught himself staring and peeled his chopsticks apart. "Chinese!" Harley debated between chopsticks and her fork before stabbing a piece of meat with her fork and popping it into her mouth as she smiled at him. Dick laughed, still staring.

"You're incredibly distracting." She pointed her fork at him.

"You eat your food." She stuck her tongue out before digging into her pile of rice. Dick shrugged, eating a piece of chicken, still sneaking glances at her. He grabbed his fortune cookie.

"Okay, let's see…" He smiled, pulling it out of it's plastic bag.

"I think you're supposed to save that till the end," Harley laughed. She ripped a piece of crab Rangoon apart and dipped it in sweet and sour sauce.

"Well where's the fun in that?" He grinned, hesitating and placing the cookie back on the table. He picked up his chopsticks again.

"You can eat it," she laughed at him. "I'm just teasing." She shook her head as she smiled at him.

"Well why can't I eat it? What's the superstition? Will it not come true?" He smirked at her.

"I don't know! It's just not the way things are done."

"I'll humor you," he smiled lovingly, and then scooted his chair closer to her, eating his rice.

"Thanks." She kissed his cheek and stole some of his rice.

"Dammit-" he grabbed some of her crab rangoon, laughing.

"No!" She tried to snatch it back. "I'm sorry! I apologize. Give it back!"

"You can't give me my rice back now can you?" He smirked, holding it away from her.

"I'm sorry. Please give it back?" she begged, pouting her lower lip and batting her eyelashes.

"Ugh, here," he grinned. Harley giggled.

"Thank you." She snatched it out of his hand and kissed his cheek again. Dick giggled a bit.

"Love you too," he smirked.

"Oh so now I don't even get to say it?" she teased. "Now you just say love you too and I don't even have to say it first? Well then I guess I just won't say it."

"You don't have to," he smiled at her. "I already know."

"Aren't you smug about it?" She grinned before scooping up more of her rice. Dick laughed.

"I'm never smug about anything," he grinned.

"And now you're a liar too!" Harley laughed. She shifted in her seat, tucking one leg under her and she speared another piece of meat. Dick groaned, rolling his eyes.

"There's no winning with you, is there?" He abandoned his empty plate and stood, smiling as he walked around her chair to lean down and kiss her cheek.

"Nope," she agreed and smiled. "But you can keep trying."

"I accept that challenge," he wrapped his arms around her neck and buried his face in her hair.

"You didn't even finish your rice," she laughed at him.

"Yes I did! I'm an adult I'm done when I say I'm done," he smiled, kissing her cheek.

"We're about to have a child. You need to shape up," she warned with a giggle. Dick laughed.

"'Cause you need a man?" He smirked, laughing.

"'Cause I need a man," she agreed. She pulled him around to kiss him. "Yes I do." Dick laughed in surprise, and he kissed her back. "Although I guess your excuses are great practice," she teased.

"Perfect practice for all those 'but why?' questions."

"Although you don't ask _too_ many questions like that, and typically use being adult as an excuse, so I never win against you." She giggled and kissed his nose. "I changed my mind. You're terrible practice."

"My darling, you wound me so." He grinned. Harley rolled her eyes.

"You're teaching Lilly bad habits, you know."

"What? How to keep your girlfriend happy and how to be awesome?" Dick kissed her cheek.

"You do have those two down," she agreed. "But you're not so great about the eating your vegetables part." Dick yawned casually and stepped away from her, pulling his shirt off.

"I don't need my vegetables," he said thoughtfully, glancing down, smirking as he flexed his muscles. Harley burst into laughter.

"Stop." She stood up and put her hands on his arms. "No please stop," she giggled. "It's not fair to somehow be ridiculous while turning me on at the same time."

"No?" Dick beamed, tightening his muscles as he looked down. "Maybe I do need some vegetables, the Christmas cookies are making me a little puffy, huh?" He poked his perfect abs, and then smiled up at her, flexing his arms by his head as he pretended to stretch.

"Stop it." She swatted his arms. "You know you're not puffy, you tease." She poked her own swollen belly.

"And you're not either," he pointed out, wrapping his arms around her waist as best he could. "You look as stunning as ever."

"Do I need to flex to prove it?" She giggled and stood up on tiptoe to kiss his nose. "Strike a couple poses? Take my shirt off?"

"I wouldn't be _opposed_ to it…" He smiled, kissing her neck gently.

"Okay." Harley stretched her arms up before simply dropping them onto his shoulders and clasping them behind his back. Dick kissed down her shoulder, and then he kissed her lips gently.

"Do you like your Christmas presents?" He smiled, biting her lip.

"Yes I do," she giggled. "And now we can use them Christmas Eve evening and very early Christmas morning." She bit his lip in return. Dick laughed.

"Well then Merry Christmas to you, Harley Quinn."

She beamed at him. "Merry Christmas to you, Dick Grayson."


	2. Batfamily One-Shot: The Proposal

**_Taking place between Parts Three and Four._**

Bruce paced in front of his desk before pausing and looking at a note that was on it. Alfred walked into the study.

"Sir, if I might suggest the gold tie." Alfred held out his arm with a few tie options draped across it, and Bruce glanced up.

"What? Oh yes." He took the tie when Alfred tied it for him quickly before tucking it under Bruce's vest and buttoning the suit jacket. Alfred situated a gold pocket square in his breast pocket. "The box. It's…"

"In the Batman utility belt. Yes. There is no need to worry, Sir."

"Of course." Bruce cleared his throat, adjusting his cuffs.

"There is no need to worry, Sir," Alfred repeated, raising his eyebrows as he looked at Bruce pointedly.

"Then you don't know Selina," Bruce chuckled, but it sounded forced.

"What do you think she _does_ when you leave her here alone?" Alfred laughed in exasperation. "She wanders the halls until she finally comes to me. I know her better than you think, Master Bruce." he smiled at him, the man whom he'd come to love as a son. "And she loves you very much. You'll do splendidly. Provided you don't hesitate, don't stutter, and the ring you've chosen is large enough to suit a woman of her tastes."

"I believe so." Bruce patted his pockets before he remembered the ring was in his utility belt. "Right."

"And remember, if she is angry about patrol- which she no doubt will be- avoid the claws." Alfred raised his eyebrows, turning around to place the extra ties on Bruce's desk before returning to straighten his jacket. "Good luck."

"Right," Bruce repeated. He hesitated before walking out into the foyer. "Selina, are you ready?" he called up the stairs.

"Just a moment, Sweetie, I'll be right down!" she called. Alfred walked past Bruce to the door, winking quickly before stepping out to start the car. Selina came down the stairs and smiled broadly. Her necklace draped from just under her chin, layered choker necklaces of tight rows of pearls laying down to her chest, seeming to blend straight into her glittering off-white beaded sheath dress. Selina's short dark hair was combed back and held there with a white gold pin, and when she reached the bottom of the stairs she smiled and looked down. "Hello." She giggled a bit, looking back up at Bruce.

"Hello." He grinned. "You look stunning."

"I bet you say that to all the girls, Mr. Wayne," she laughed quietly, tucking a stray hair behind her ear.

"Only to the woman I love." He offered her his arm. "Now, should we go before they give away our table?"

"Like they'd give away _your_ table," she smiled, putting her coat on before she followed him to the door, her hand placed lightly on his arm. Alfred opened the car door for them, and they got in.

"Hopefully no disasters happen at the house while we're gone this time," Bruce said, checking his watch. Selina laughed again and moved closer to him in the back of the car, shivering a bit.

"It will be fine. Damian never makes trouble," she mused, smiling up at him.

"The motorcycle that just came back from the shop would beg to differ," he said darkly, running his hand through his hair. Pursing her lips a bit, Selina reached up to smooth the hair he'd just ruffled.

"You know there's a reason that the saying 'boys will be boys' exists," she said quietly. "And they're _your_ boys. Sometimes I can't tell if that makes their behavior worse or better."

"I prefer to think it makes it worse." He smiled down at her. Selina smiled back and traced a finger along his jaw.

"I like it better when you smile," she said quietly.

"Well, you make me smile." He simply shrugged. Selina giggled and wrapped her arms around his, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Which seems to be good for you, Dark Knight. Get that sour look off of your face."

He scowled at her. "I thought you liked my sour look." The corner of his mouth tugged up in a smile and she leaned up to kiss it.

"I do. But only like this." She covered his eyes and his nose with her hand, laughing.

"That's cheating," he told her, catching her hands.

"Why is it cheating?" She leaned closer to him, still smiling, her eyes shining.

"Because I like the way all of your face looks. Even when you're sour."

"Oh please you don't need to butter me up, Mr. Wayne, I'm already in your car," she laughed and stroked his cheek. "Besides, I'm so used to seeing you scowling with that mask on. So it usually does look like this," she covered his eyes again and leaned in to kiss him gently.

"I believe that was the first look you fell in love with." He smirked, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "You looked pretty good yourself."

"Oh it was," she sighed dreamily, and then laughed. "But I wasn't looking at your face."

Alfred stopped the car and got out to open the door for them outside of the restaurant.

"Thank you Alfred." Bruce got out and held out his hand to help Selina. She followed him to the restaurant, squeezing his fingers excitedly. Her thumb stroked his hand.

"Mr. Wayne," the steward smiled as they walked in. "Perfectly on time. Your table is ready, if you'll follow me."

As the steward led them through the restaurant to a quiet, secluded table set beside large bay windows overlooking the Gotham skyline, Selina beamed happily. She gazed around at the decor in the low light, smiling when Bruce pulled her chair out for her.

"This is beautiful," she commented as she sat down, and he took the seat beside her rather than across. She watched him. Her pale green eyes shone in the romantic lighting. "You have wonderful taste."

"There's something to be said about what money can buy." He put his napkin over his knee as he smiled at her. Selina thought for a moment.

"I think the people who say money can't buy happiness are fools," she said matter of factly, smiling.

"I hope my money isn't what you love about me," he teased.

"Of course not," she waved a hand. "But I found you while trying to buy my own happiness, stealing jewels and the like. It may not have _bought_ me happiness, but it certainly brought it to me. Also, whoever coined the phrase had clearly never seen Winston jewelry."

"Or you wearing it." Bruce turned to the waiter that appeared at the edge of their table. He accepted the wine list and glanced through it quickly before selecting and handing it back. "You do look stunning tonight," he told Selina as he turned back to her.

"Oh that was very nice, Mr. Wayne. Very smooth," she smirked, but she blushed despite it. "Thank you," she added quietly, looking down.

"I mean it," he assured her. "Now, I suppose I should glance at the menu instead of staring at you all night." He held the menu open between them as he scanned through it quickly.

"Order for me," she purred, her hand coming to rest gently on his forearm as she watched him lovingly.

"Of course." He kissed her cheek as the waiter returned and filled their wine glasses, leaving the bottle on the table. "We'll have the fresh Tilapia and broiled lobster tails." The waiter nodded and took the menu.

"You continue to spoil me, Bruce," Selina laughed, stroking his sleeve with her thumb. She couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"That's the plan." He smiled before he took a sip of wine. "Have you been bored staying at the Manor with just Damian and Alfred during the day? It's a lot less… exciting now that Dick has moved out with Harley."

"It gets lonely when you two leave at night. I have Alfred to keep me company then, but the house is so big…" she sighed and then smiled. "It's a lot less exciting when you're always out."

"Maybe you'll have to come out with me sometime soon." He smiled as he brushed her bangs away from her eyes. "We'll have to find something you can do all day…"

"Who's to say I don't go out without _you_?" she asked mischievously, smiling at him and sipping her wine. Bruce's hand tightened around his wineglass for a moment before he relaxed again.

"I hope it wouldn't be _jewelry shopping_ , but I never expected to keep a stray cat confined to one place."

"You can't 'keep me' at all, not unless I allow it." She looked around the room at Gotham's elite, dining quietly on their expensive meals. The corner of her lip tugged up in amusement.

"Oh and you're _allowing_ me to bring you here?" He chuckled.

"Of course." Selina giggled and took his hand. "Relax, I'm only teasing you."

"Well I'm happy you let me in your presence," he taunted.

"Bruce? Is that you?" Bruce turned at his name. A strawberry blonde in a business skirt and blazer walked over with a big smile on her face.

"Vicki," Bruce said in surprise. Vicki Vale stopped at the edge of the table.

"What are the chances of seeing you here?" She glanced at Selina's hand in Bruce's before smiling at her. "And you must be Miss Kyle if I've read the tabloids correctly."

"Of course," Selina smiled calmly, but Bruce recognized the tightness of her expression, clearly agitated at having their dinner interrupted. Vicki, however, didn't notice.

"So how are you?" she asked Bruce. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"I'm good," he replied awkwardly, running his hand through his hair.

"We'll have to catch up sometimes when I'm not at a work dinner." She winced good naturedly. "I'll let you get back to your dinner with your," she glanced at Selina's hand again, "girlfriend." She smiled brightly at him. "See you around Bruce," she called over her shoulder as she walked away.

"Rude," Selina huffed. "'What are the chances of seeing you here'?" She whined, in a mock imitation of Vicki. "Hmm. Bruce Wayne in a fancy restaurant. Those chances are _slim._ " She took a sip of her wine and then rolled her eyes. "'If I read the _tabloids_ right.' Ugh."

"There's really nothing I can say in this situation is there?" Bruce asked. Selina smirked at him.

"No. No there's not." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You're smart, Dark Knight." The waiter walked toward them carrying the tray with their food. He quickly served it.

"Let me know if there is anything else you need." He inclined his head to them before turning away.

"Selina," Bruce murmured, his lips near her ear. " _You're_ here. Not her, not anyone else, and nothing and no one will ever make me want to change that."

"Oh, I don't know about that," she blushed and turned her head towards him, her lips brushing his. She stole a quick kiss and then looked at him lovingly. "Tell me that if one of the boys called right now with an emergency, you wouldn't be dying to run off to help."

"I wouldn't," he told her truthfully. "I may feel _obligated_ to go, but right now, I just want to be here with you."

"It's okay, sweetheart, I wouldn't blame you. Your… _love_ for them, for lack of a better word… is one of your most attractive features. I mean, it's not the _only_ thing you have going for you, but it is attractive." Selina giggled, taking a bite of her Tilapia.

"Oh?" He laughed. "And what about my love for you? Is that attractive?"

"Of course," she smiled and fed him a bite of fish, laughing.

"It seems like I've got a couple of good qualities. Maybe enough to convince you to stay around." He dug a bit of lobster out of its tail and offered it to her. She bit it off of his fork, watching him.

"Just maybe," she smiled slyly, looking down as she cut another piece off of her fish. "This is amazing, Bruce. The food, the restaurant, the chance to dress up..." Sighing happily, she dabbed her lips with her napkin.

"You deserve it. You deserve it _every_ night." He smiled ruefully, "I'm sorry that tends to be my busiest time."

"Well there's only one thing that I _really_ miss on those nights," she purred, trailing a hand gently up his leg.

"It wouldn't be my riveting stories, would it?"

"Of course," she laughed lightly, kissing his cheek.

"I knew you didn't just like me for my money," he taunted, catching her face and giving her a quick kiss. Selina squeaked in surprise and then hit his chest.

"I hate it when you do that," she laughed, finishing her food and pushing her plate away.

"Did you want a glass of milk with your fish?" He smirked as he tossed his napkin onto his plate.

"Oh you're so funny," she smirked and finished her glass of wine. There was a pause as Bruce poured her another glass. "Bruce... Did you mean that? That you want me to stay around? As in _stay._ " He looked at her like he couldn't quite understand what she meant.

"If you mean stay as in not leave then that is exactly what I mean."

"But... ' _Stay'-_ stay?" She asked, looking him in the eyes.

"Of course. I'd hate for Batman to have to chase Catwoman down again." He sipped his wine. Selina frowned and put her silverware on her plate.

"Oh of course... Right..." She stared out the window behind him. She'd hoped that he was leading to something more with this dinner. Bruce watched her.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked her. The waiter slid the bill on the table as if this was his cue.

"Yes, we are," Selina shrugged, and picked up her clutch with a smile. Bruce quickly wrote the check and stood, offering her his hand.

"I'm sure Alfred is waiting for us."

She took his hand and stood, lacing her fingers with his. Selina kissed his cheek.

"I'm sure. Thank you for getting the bill, Mr. Wayne." She giggled quietly.

"Anytime." He helped her into her coat before taking her hand again and leading her out. The hostess smiled at them as she held the door open. Alfred pulled the car up and got out as they approached.

"Master Grayson called while you were at dinner, sir. He requested your assistance." Bruce glanced nervously at Selina. She laughed shortly.

"What did I say?" Shaking her head, Selina got into the car, tugging her coat close around her shoulders. _The evening had started so well…_

"You could always come with," Bruce offered, sliding in beside her.

"I did bring your… uniform along as well, Miss Kyle," Alfred added, watching them through the rearview mirror as he put the car in drive.

She hesitated. "Actually, I'd love to go. Honestly, if it's a way to spend time with you, then I'm all for it." She tugged her coat off, pulling her uniform out of the hidden compartment behind the passenger seat.

"Alfred, take us there, but leave the car a ways away. We don't know the situation yet." Bruce quickly unbuttoned his vest. Selina turned away from him, hiding her increasingly furious frown as she dropped her necklace on the floor and unzipped her dress, letting it drop away from her shoulders. She bit her lip angrily, hoping she was distracting Bruce, knowing that if he tried to touch her, she might cause him physical harm at this point.

"I'm sorry this came up," he apologized. "Hopefully it won't take long, so we can get back to our evening." He pulled his shirt off and watched her carefully, trying to gauge how angry she was, and trying not to get distracted. Selina tugged the pants of her catsuit on, attempting to pull the torso up in the spacious yet still cramped area of the backseat. She zipped it up and yanked her earrings off, tossing them over her shoulder at Bruce. She smoothed her hair, and then pulled her cowl onto her head, buckling it under her chin before straightening the ears in the rear view mirror.

"Of course we can continue, dear," she glanced over shoulder. "It won't be tonight, but I'm sure in another two weeks." Bruce cleared his throat. He tugged his gloves on as Alfred stopped the car in an alley.

"Thank you Alfred." Bruce yanked his cowl on and got out, holding the door open for Selina. "Ready?"

"Of course," she smiled tightly and followed him out, strapping her whip to her hip.

"It's just up ahead." Batman strode forward and glanced up. "We'll go by rooftop." He looked back at her. Her eyes narrowed, still rimmed in her eyeliner and glittery smokey eyeshadow. She mopped a hand over her lips to wipe the lipstick off and reluctantly stepped closer to him, wrapping her arms around his waist so that he could take her up with him when he used his grappling hook. Bruce was glad he was wearing gloves because his hands were getting sweaty, and he tried to keep the nervousness off his face. He wrapped his arm around her and fired the grappling hook. He could see the tense annoyance on her face once they landed on the roof. He quickly moved forward.

"You know the first time we met, I was chasing you instead you following me," he said over his shoulder.

"Yeah, I used to imagine that you were chasing me for _me_ , not just because you were 'Batman.'" She crossed her arms and shivered a bit, staring down at her shoes.

"See the problem was that I knew I needed to arrest you, but that didn't stop me from being attracted to you."

"Mmhm," she nodded curtly, looking around as she walked forward. Batman had stopped, and Catwoman looked up at him in confusion and irritation when she ran into him. She huffed shortly and put her hand on her hip, her purple leather suit hugging her curves tightly.

"You look exactly like the first time I met you. I think you were this mad at me too." The corner of his mouth turned up in a smile. Selina rolled her eyes and crossed her arms again.

"Stop trying to be cute. You're not."

"Well you're cute," he replied, grinning. For some reason, that only served to make her angrier.

"Damn it, Br- _Batman_ ," she snapped, her lower lip sticking out a bit. She glared. "Isn't Nightwing waiting somewhere? Don't we need to get to him?"

"We're right where we're supposed to be," he shrugged.

"Oh so is he meeting us here," she shivered again, "because I'm getting cold."

"I'd offer to warm you up, but I think I should avoid your claws right now."

"Wise choice." She looked down. "Why couldn't we just have had a nice night?! Why couldn't- I mean you only do it like once a month, so... We never get to go out. And then you had to go and ruin it with this!" She caught the nose of his cowl and pulled it out, letting it snap back against his face.

"Oh, I ruined it?" he asked, catching her hand. "You think I planned this?"

"No, but I think something always gets in the way." Selina retorted.

"Something doesn't _always_ get in the way," he countered.

"Yes it does. If it's not one thing, it's another. Believe me. I love the whole superhero thing, I do. It's sexy, and it's selfless and amazing but every now and then... I just want a break. I love that you're this incredible, strong, brave hero, but would it kill you to take a night off?!" She pulled her hand away from his.

"Selina," he said quietly, "we have a night off." He grabbed her hands again and didn't let her pull away. "Look around. Do you know where we are?"

"Some shit building in Gotham, I don't..." She looked around them for the first time, really studying her surroundings. Bruce had always tried to teach her that it should be the first thing she did in a new environment, assess her surroundings, but this time he was banking on her infuriating disregard to basic protocol. "No. But it's... familiar, I guess," she looked back at him, narrowing her eyes.

"Familiar," he chuckled. "You don't remember me chasing you across a dozen rooftops before catching up to you here? You may not know this, but you were one of my first villains to escape."

"This..." She looked around again, stepping away from him towards the edge of the building. "This is where... I remember," she laughed. Pacing back to him, Selina glanced over her shoulder. "Was I really one of the first?"

"The first one that mattered. The _only_ one that matters." He put his hand on her cheek. "You fascinate me just as much as the first time I saw you, the first time I saw you here- looking just like this- and I will keep chasing you. I _do_ want you to 'stay.' Of course I do." He kissed her forehead and laughed. "If you want to stick around and put up with the interruptions, and me making you mad, and everything else that could go wrong… So," he smiled as he pulled a ring box out of his belt and knelt as he opened it, "will you marry me?"

Selina stared at him in stunned silence. "What? You... Bruce, I..." She covered her mouth in shock, staring at the massive diamond ring. "I will. Yes. Of course." She laughed breathlessly as she choked back tears. "Yes!" He took her glove off and slid the ring onto her finger. Standing back up, he pulled her close and gave her a kiss.

"I know I should have asked sooner."

"You bastard," she snapped, but grinned in spite of herself. "You're a jerk for making me- making me angry when you knew all along, damn you." Selina leaned forward and kissed him again, still grinning happily.

"I thought it would be better to do it where we met instead of after running into my ex-girlfriend. Not that she was part of the plan." He was smiling more than he ever had while wearing the cowl. "Alfred was in on it, but the boys don't know. I just told them they were in charge for a night."

"A night? A whole night?" Selina repeated him as if she couldn't believe it. Her lips remained close to his, and she wrapped her arms around his neck, admiring the ring on her finger over his shoulder.

"A whole night," he laughed. "I just told Dick I was most likely going to piss you off, and he seemed to agree patrol was the least of my problems."

"Smart kid," she commented, pulling his lips to hers again as she stepped closer to him. He ran his hands up and pulled her hood off.

"He always was," he muttered as his hands bunched in her hair. Selina smiled and bit his lip, smiling as one hand wrapped around the ear of his cowl. She pulled his face closer and kissed his chin.

"I should have done this when we met."

"Well I'm glad you're doing it now." He tilted her face up as he kissed her again. Kissing him back hungrily, Selina pushed herself up onto her toes so that she could match his height as she pulled at his cape.

"I can't believe it took you this long to propose," she laughed between kisses, the sharp bladed claws on her glove tracing his jawline delicately.

"At least I finally did." His hands ran down her sides to her hips and came to a stop on her belt.

"Of course," she breathed faster already, pulling him close by his cowl's menacing ears as if she couldn't get him close enough. She leaned close and whispered. "The only flaw with all this Body Armor is that there is so much of it. Nothing is easily accessible," she smiled mischievously, running her hands over the torso of his bulletproof uniform. Her lips eagerly kissed his exposed skin.

"I just can't do anything right tonight. I hope I didn't ruin your evening when Alfred asked us to go on patrol." He pulled her against him by her belt, savoring the feeling of her lips. Selina laughed and moaned a little, biting his chin gently.

"Of course not," she lied, and then thought better of it. "I was furious. Damn you for making me mad like that and then proposing," she giggled. Selina kissed him as she stepped forward and their legs intertwined, her body pressed against his heavy armor. Her hands held either side of his face, desperately holding him close as she bit his tongue and then kissed him slowly. "God, I love you," she breathed, still smiling broadly as she leaned back a bit to look into his eyes.

"I love you too," he whispered. He traced a thumb along her cheek. "And I'm glad you want to stay."

Selina smiled up at him, her dark hair ruffling a bit in the breeze as he held her face. Happy tears streamed down her reddened cheeks. She threw her arms around his neck and squealed happily, unable to find the right words.

"So did I finally do something right?" he laughed, picking her up and spinning her around. Selina laughed blissfully and nodded.

"Yes. Finally," she smiled at him. He set her down and rubbed his hands along her arms.

"Are you still cold? We can head inside."

"Will you warm me up?" She breathed against his lips and kissed him gently.

"I'm sure I can think of something." He pulled her close again, one hand sliding to the back of her neck as he kissed her fervently. Selina's heart skipped a beat as her eyes fluttered closed, and she leaned into his kiss. It seemed like it had been ages since she'd seen him this impassioned.

"Bruce-" she sighed against his lips and smiled. He ran his hands down her curves again. He lifted her up by her thighs, and she wrapped her legs around his back.

"Did you want to go somewhere more comfortable?" he chuckled.

Selina nodded, her forehead resting against his as she tightened her legs around his waist. "I'd take you right here if it wasn't so cold," she admitted with a laugh, and then hesitated. "Oh, what the hell." She reached down and slipped her hands under the heavy armored kevlar torso of his suit, her claws digging into the skin at his hip as she kissed him. Her other hand tugged the fabric away from his abs, tracing his muscles as she pulled it up.

"Selina," he groaned. His steps faltered, and he stopped in the middle of the rooftop. His hands tightened on her legs as his breathing sped up.

"Bruce," she moaned in reply. She grinned and pulled it up further, relying on him to hold her up as she flexibly bent over and kissed his abs, his chest; all the while pulling his suit up. He tried to calm his breathing.

"This roof isn't exactly private, and you aren't exactly quiet."

"Good," she retorted, sitting up in his arms again as she slowly unzipped her catsuit. "You're the one stopping. If you can't get me to the car before I get your pants to the ground, that's on you," she teased, pulling on his belt. He took a deep breath, resisting the urge to mutter a curse. He strode quickly toward the edge of the roof, one hand going up to explore her newly exposed skin. Selina closed her eyes and moaned, pulling the sleeves away from her arms as she let the top of her catsuit drop around her waist. Her fingernails dug into his cheeks as she grabbed Bruce's face and pulled his lips to hers, kissing him fervently. He paused at the edge of the roof, enjoying her kiss before he broke it off. He wrapped his arm around her waist and fired the grappling hook. As his boots landed on cracked cement of the alley, he was glad he'd had the forethought to park the Batmobile nearby. Selina managed to detach herself from him long enough for them to both get in the car. As Bruce sat down and closed the door to the driver's seat, Selina swung her leg over and straddled his waist, pulling his cowl back from his face and violently pushing him back against the seat as she kissed him again. Bruce grabbed the edges of her catsuit and pulled them down past her waist. He kissed along her neck and across one shoulder before continuing down her chest as her fingers dug into his back. Tearing his cape off, she pulled the top of his suit off, tossing his heavy gauntlets and armor into the passenger seat before biting Bruce's ear. She laughed when she saw the ring on her finger. "Should we even try to make it home?" she panted, kissing along his strong jaw to his lips.

"Are you even going to let me try?" he asked. One of his hands roamed across her body while the other cupped her cheek as he kissed her again.

She moaned loudly against his lips, her back arching as she shivered at his touch. "This car can practically drive itself. I'll back off a bit, but let's see how you do at a little distracted driving." Selina pushed his head back against the seat when he looked at her disapprovingly, and she bit his neck. "The danger is half the fun," she purred, grinding her hips against his.

"Selina," he gasped, "I'm not going to try to...while you're..." He groaned as his fingers dug into her hips.

"Mmmm, but I _love it_ when you're dangerous," she smiled, biting his lip as she pressed herself to his chest, still moving her hips on his. Her fingers tangled in his hair and she pulled it a bit, her lips brushing against his. Bruce moaned, his hands sliding up to her waist. He strained his neck up to kiss her gently as his hips bucked against hers. Selina laughed, catching his face as she kissed him hungrily. She leaned back against the steering wheel and moaned, pulling Bruce closer as she trailed her hands down his back.

"Are you still expecting me to try and drive back?" he asked against the skin on her collarbone. His hands pulled her body closer to his, and she was pinned between him and the steering wheel. Selina nodded darkly, shooting him a grin before shoving him back again, kissing him slowly. She hooked her thumb around the seat adjuster, and it slid back as she quickly dropped away from him and the steering wheel, kneeling on the floor in front of his seat. Her fingers slowly unbuckled his utility belt as she smiled sweetly up at him, biting her lip. "Well I can't even reach the steering wheel anymore," he gasped, gritting his teeth. His fingers gripped tightly to the edge of the seat.

"Too bad," Selina sighed. "I can do a lot more with a whip when I'm not in the car." She kissed the exposed skin just above the waistline of his pants. Bruce leaned his head back and ran his hand through his hair as he tried to breathe evenly.

"That's okay." He smiled down at her as he caught her hand. "It's not like you're going anywhere." He ran his thumb over her ring.

"Put a collar with a little bell on me and call me yours," she agreed, kissing his hand and smiling before laughing at her own words. "You're going to turn me into one of those fat, useless, contented house cats, aren't you?" She smiled lovingly, resting her head against his hand.

"No," he leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss, "I'm going to turn you into my wife," he corrected.


	3. Harleywing One-Shot: Busy Baby

**_Taking place after Part Five. Late February/Early March._**

"Harley," Dick whispered next to her ear. "Harley..." He kissed her earlobe, grinning.

She suppressed a smile and shoved his face back with one hand, cradling Haly with her other arm. Harley didn't take her eyes off of the sleepy baby as she fed her.

Within moments Dick had come back, nuzzling her neck. "Hey, Harley," he breathed. She could hear the amusement in his voice, and she still didn't answer. "Harley..." He whined, a little louder. Haly blinked her sleepy blue eyes up at them and Dick bit the collar of her t-shirt, kissing her shoulder. He frowned and looked at her, sliding his arms around her waist as a grin spread over his lips. "Oh Harley, light of my life, my beautiful, crazy, bewitching Harley," he purred, unable to stop himself from giggling a bit. He'd been out helping Jason and Ivy move into their new apartment all day, and being around his brother's relationship had made him long for his own. Dick suddenly grinned again, his lips beside her ear.

" _Im vais le dire simplement parler alors youll à moi parce que je sais que vous détestez quand je dites des choses que vous ne comprenez pas,_ Puddin'," he whispered in her ear, his voice like silk. Harley glanced over her shoulder at him, bouncing Haly in her arms.

"Did you just call me Puddin?" she asked. "And a bunch of other foreign words?"

"Maybe. It got you to talk, didn't it? _Je gagne,_ " he grinned, kissing her ear. She swatted him away.

"I'm feeding the baby," she shushed, smiling. Dick chuckled again and wrapped his arms around her lovingly. He nuzzled her cheek.

"I love you, Haly," Dick whispered over Harley's shoulder to the baby. She cooed, a tiny fist twisting in Harley's shirt as she fussed a bit. He smiled.

"Shhh," Harley laughed, "do not wake her up more. The goal is to get her to sleep," she reminded him.

"I'm being quiet," Dick defended with a whisper again. Harley set the empty bottle down as she smiled and started rocking Haly in her arms. Dick watched the two of them lovingly. The house was dark, everything but the Christmas tree in the living room was turned off. Dick had insisted on keeping it up, and the two of them hadn't gotten around to taking it down. They'd spent their Valentine's Day beside it. Dick nuzzled her ear. "I love you."

"I love you too," Harley whispered, rolling her eyes at him.

"You do?" Dick grinned at her over her shoulder.

"You know I do," she nudged him with her shoulder, "so knock it off." She moved back to the cradle, carefully laying Haly down. The baby squirmed a little, blinking her eyes up at Harley before letting them droop again. Dick crept to the door and leaned against the frame, watching Harley. There was so much pride in his eyes. Harley watched the baby for a while longer before moving to join Dick. "You're on wake up duty," she warned him with a smile. Dick laughed and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her hips against his as he leaned against the door.

"I'm ok with that as long as we're not doing any sleeping," he smiled, biting his lip. Harley grinned, draping her arms over his shoulders.

"Only if I'm the only one who gets to bite that lip," she challenged.

"Always," Dick grinned, pulling her close. She laced her fingers together at the back of his neck.

"Then give it to me."

He smiled again and kissed her gently, wrapping his arms around her waist. She bit his lip, her hands sliding up into his hair as she pressed herself against him. Dick moaned weakly, smiling into her kiss as a hand slid down her leg. He scooped her up and wrapped her legs around his waist before walking out into the hallway. "I love you," he said again, kissing her nose. Harley rested her forehead against his, her thumbs stroking his cheeks.

"And I love you." She kissed him softly. Dick smiled and opened their bedroom door, leaving it cracked behind him. He sighed as he fell back onto the bed with her in his arms.

"How long has it been since we've _actually_ been left alone?" He grinned, tucking her against his chest. "I mean if it wasn't my family, it was your family, and by that I mean Ivy and Jason screwing around in our living room..." He laughed.

Harley groaned. "I was going to go crazy if they hadn't found their own place. She smiled at him, resting her head on his shoulder. Her hand traced absentmindedly along his arm. Dick caught her hand, looking at her engagement ring. He smiled.

"We ought to start planning, huh?" he breathed, kissing her cheek. She laughed and moved her face to brush her lips across his.

"And did you want to start doing that now?"

"Maybe," he grinned, pulling her close. He kissed her neck. She made a contented noise.

"And what did you have in mind?" Her hands trailed up to his shoulders. Dick kissed her neck slowly, smiling.

"Hmmm. Have we decided on... Anything? Summer wedding?" He chuckled, pulling her beside him, a hand slipping under her shirt.

"Well I decided on the groom." She smirked and pulled her shirt off for him, tossing it on the ground. "And that's good enough for me for now."

"Got it," Dick swallowed hard, smiling. "Less talk, more us," he laughed, sitting up. He kissed her gently, wrapping his arms around her waist. She bit his lip teasingly before pulling her face away.

"It's just not what I had in mind when you said we wouldn't be sleeping." She grinned and kissed along his jaw. "We'll have plenty of late nights up planning before our wedding." she kissed right below his ear. "And plenty of late nights _after_ our wedding," she breathed. Dick groaned and laughed.

"I love it when you talk dirty," he grinned, cupping her face as he kissed her passionately. Dick bit her lip and kissed down her neck. She pulled his shirt up and ran her hands up his chest.

"Then you better get some soap," she warned, "because I'm just getting started."

"Oh I would be too disappointed if you weren't," he laughed, kissing her slowly. Dick ran his hands down her spine as his lips moved down her neck. He inhaled deeply and smiled against her skin. She grinned and pulled his shirt up. Once she threw it aside, she rolled to straddle his waist.

"Have I _ever_ disappointed?" she asked as she smirked down at him.

"Not once," he beamed, his hands on her hips. She started kissing along his chest.

"You know what's even better than talking dirty?" she asked. Her hands trailed down lower than her mouth, creeping toward his belt.

"Dare I ask what?" Dick groaned, his muscles tensed under her lips. He smiled, running his hands through her hair as he took a deep breath. She hooked her thumbs in his belt and grinned.

"Demonstrating."

"Harley..." Dick sighed longingly, grinning. She giggled, planting a kiss over his heart as she slid her hands closer to his belt buckle.

"Dick," she mimicked with a smile. He laughed and pulled her lips up to his, kissing her hard. The baby monitor on the bedside table lit up, and then Haly's fussing came over it. Harley groaned in frustration, letting her forehead drop against Dick's chest. "We just put her to sleep," she whined.

"I'll get her," Dick picked Harley up gently and dropped her back on the comforter. He walked out of the room, and she could hear him over the baby monitor. "What's the matter, sweetheart? Did we leave you all alone by yourself?" Haly cried as Dick picked her up, and he cradled her lovingly. "Oh I know, you're mad aren't you? Shhh... I know," he smiled as she continued to cry. "I know, tell me all about it," Dick cooed. Harley smiled as she listened. There'd been a time, when she was one of the most wanted criminals in Gotham, that she never would have imagined this. Now she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. It was peaceful and everything she'd never known she'd wanted. Haly's fussing tapered off. "There we go, my beautiful girl, it's ok," Dick smiled, gently laying her down. The baby monitor was silent and Dick opened the door to their bedroom, smiling. His grin faded when Haly started crying again. Dick groaned and walked back to the nursery. "You know, I'm not a drinker but you're going to drive me to it to get some sleep you little angel," he muttered as he picked her up again. He could faintly hear Harley laughing from down the hall. She crawled under the covers; it was cold with him gone.

" _You don't really love that guy you're making with now do you, I know you don't love that guy 'cause I can see right through you. I am, I am Superman, and I know what's happening..."_ Dick continued to sing the song that she'd come to know so well, his voice soft as he lulled Haly back to sleep. He put her down carefully again and walked back to the bedroom, leaving the door cracked. "Where were we?" he asked, crawling onto the bed and pulling the covers away from her face a bit.

"Um, you were about to guess if I'm still wearing any clothes under here." She grinned up at him.

"Are you?" He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair.

"That's not a guess," she laughed, smirking.

"Well I must do some investigating. We Wayne's don't _guess,_ " he smirked, running his hands down her sides, feeling down her body over the covers. "Hmm. I guess yes," he laughed.

"Well... you're right." She reached up and pulled him down closer to her. "But you can easily fix that."

"I can, can't I?" He grinned, crawling under the covers with her. He slipped her pajama pants off of her legs, tossing them out. "Better?" He grinned, kissing her chest.

"We're getting there." Her hands found their way to his hips, pulling him down against her. "But now you're way overdressed for this party."

"I am," Dick laughed, his elbows on either side of her head as he held himself above her. He kissed her nose. "I think you can remedy that," he whispered, his eyes shining. He smiled. She laughed, angling her lips up toward him.

"Let's get you ready for bed then, shall we?" Her tongue darted out to lick her lips as she started undoing his belt. Dick smiled and closed his eyes, leaning down to kiss her neck.

"Whatever you say, dear," he laughed, kissing her ear. His hands tangled in her hair, and he smiled against her skin. She giggled as she undid the button on his pants and pulled them off.

"Well I'd say less talk more us, but you already covered that."

"I did," Dick grinned, pressing his hips against hers. He sat up and kissed down her chest, smiling as he hooked his thumbs in her underwear. Harley laughed before squealing as something wet touched her arm. Wally nosed her again and put his front paws up on the bed. When he saw he had their attention, he ran to the door and spun around.

"Don't tell me you forgot to let them out," she begged, dropping her head back against the pillow.

"I... Didn't?" Dick tried, sighing slowly. "But... But why now..." He kissed her stomach, dropping his head on her belly. Wally whined from by the door.

"I really, _really_ want you to stay." Harley ran her hands through his hair and tilted his face up to look at her. "But if they pee on the carpet, I'm not going to be the one to clean it up."

"What- why do _I_ have to take them out?! They're your dogs too," Dick whined, frowning. "And besides, I've got Haly!"

"You didn't have to take care of Wally the night he threw up all the leftover Valentine's chocolate!" she defended.

"Fine," Dick groaned, getting up again to take the dogs out. "Come on, mutts," he muttered, walking down the stairs. He opened the front door and they scampered out into the yard. "She's just jealous," he assured Wally. Clark sprinted past him as he chased after Wally, nearly knocking Dick over. "Damn it, Clark!" Dick shouted at him, and then covered his mouth.

"Don't take your frustration out on your poor dogs," Will called over the alley at him. He sat on his porch with a beer and a book. Dick smiled.

"Hey, Will, how's your night?"

"Pretty good. Couldn't sleep," he held up his book.

"So you came out in the cold to read?" Dick laughed, suddenly very aware that he was in only his boxer shorts. Wally ran to him and Dick knelt to scratch his ears.

"I like it. I think it's nice, you know? Brisk, not cold," he chuckled.

Dick reached inside for his jacket hanging on the hook and his boots beside it and then closed the door behind him.

Harley waited ten minutes before she finally got bored. Dick hadn't come back yet, and Wally and Clark were running around downstairs; she could hear them. She sighed, rolling out of bed and grabbing her pajamas. She pulled them on as she headed downstairs. The dogs swarmed her at the bottom of the stairs and she wove through them as she looked around. She finally spotted Dick and Will through the kitchen window and rolled her eyes as she smiled.

"Come on," she called the dogs and headed back upstairs. She might as well have some company while she waited. Wally sprinted up the stairs ahead of her and tripped, smacking against the top step. She had a moment of fear that he could've woken Haly, but the nursery was still quiet. The two dogs trotted ahead of her into the bedroom and waited for her to fall into the bed before joining her. A bit later, Dick came up the stairs and pushed the bedroom door open. He looked between Wally and Clark.

"I've been replaced."

"Yeah you have," she mumbled into the pillow. "How was Will?"

"He's fine," Dick giggled, shooing the dogs away. He started kissing up Harley's spine as he slid her shirt up her waist.

"Remember when we could make it through an evening uninterrupted?" she mused. Then she remembered all the times Bruce would show up, or some emergency would happen, or he'd be called away on patrol. "Never mind. It's always been like this." She laughed and turned her head to smile up at him. Dick pulled her shirt over her head and kissed her shoulder, his hands on her hips.

"I remember... the first few times together," he muttered, pulling her close.

"I remember the first few times when I came back," she added. Dick laughed and kissed over her shoulder to her ear, biting it gently. He blushed a bit.

"I'd missed you," he breathed, tucking her hair behind her ear, burying his nose in it. She turned over and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his face down to hers.

"I came back didn't I?"

"You came back," he smiled, a thumb tracing over the scar on her side, mirroring his own.

"And I'm not going anywhere." She pulled him down and kissed him passionately. She adjusted one of her hands to slide up into his hair as she gasped for air. Dick moaned into her kiss, his fingers digging into her skin at her hips. One arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her desperately against his chest. Her tongue sought his as she yanked her pajama pants back off and kicked them away, pulling his hips into hers by the waistband of his boxers. "If Bruce calls and tells you to go on patrol, I'll kill him," she gasped.

"I'll help," he laughed, wrapping her knee around his waist as he kissed her fervently, biting her lip. She moaned, her back arching and pressing her into him as her hands clawed at his back. "Shhhh, you'll wake Haly up," Dick giggled quietly, covering her mouth. He pulled her bra off with one hand, kissing her neck. With a grin, Harley rolled them over and straddled him. She worked her hips against his as she smirked down at him.

"You can't tell me what to do."

"Oh I know," Dick groaned, his breathing spiking as he bit his lip to keep from moaning too loud. He could tell that she loved her power over him, and he could tell she knew she had him wrapped around her finger. It was true. She made his head spin. She leaned down toward him, letting her hands creep up his chest and lace in his hair.

"Were we planning on any more interruptions?" she breathed.

"Not... _Planning_ on any..." Dick moaned, his eyes closed. His hands were tight on her hips, his chest heaving.

"Good." She kissed along his neck to his ear, her hands tightened in his hair, and her legs clenched around his waist. "Because I'm tired of waiting," she murmured. Dick opened his mouth to respond when his phone rang on the bedside table. He lifted his head and stared at it.

"No."

Harley sighed and rolled off of him. He was going to answer it no matter what. "Go ahead." She spread out under the blankets and stared up at the ceiling.

"Harley it's not- I'm _sorry,_ " he sighed, glancing between her and the phone before picking it up. "This had better be good, you're getting me into a lot of trouble," he muttered into the receiver.

"Diiiiickk guess what I'm doing?" Barbara shouted into the phone so loudly that Dick had to pull it away from his ear.

"Um... I'm going to take a wild guess and say... drinking?"

"And we're gonna ride on the motorcycle," she hiccuped.

"No, don't do that," Dick rubbed his temple. Barbara screeched with laughter.

"Dick! Dick! Guess what I'm doing?!" She cried, and he promptly hung up the phone. He hesitated, and then switched off the sound on it, rolling over and wrapping his arm around Harley.

"I'm sorry," he nosed his way to her cheek, kissing her skin gently. His arm pulled tightly around her waist. "Don't be mad."

"I'm not mad. It's... Is there really a point if we're just going to get interrupted again?" she asked.

"Yes. Because I love you, and we have to make time for us, ok?" Dick kissed her cheek, rolling her over to look at him. He smiled. "No matter how many times Haly or the dogs or life interrupts us, we have to make time for us." He kissed her slowly. "It'll be ok," he stroked her cheek.

"I know, but it's really hard to keep the mood going every time. Especially knowing it's just going to happen again." Her fingers played with the sheets. "Then there are the nights you leave altogether. I mean, if Bruce called you up right now and asked for help, can you honestly say you wouldn't go out on patrol?"

"I... I don't think so," he looked down. "But this is just one of those things, right? We have to make it work whenever we have time. ...right?" He bit his lip and sighed. Harley poked his chest.

"I'm always going to make it work with you. All I'm saying is it's hard to pick up where we left off when your ex girlfriend calls."

"She was wasted, how am I supposed to help that?" He sighed. It was turning into a pretty rough night. Dick glanced at her and smiled. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, pulling her close. "Can we try again? No more distractions."

"See but there real hard part is where do we pick it up at?" she asked with a small smile.

"I've never had a problem just jumping in," he kissed her nose and then her lips. "If you can keep up," he teased, kissing her slowly.

"But you have all the fun if we just jump in," she pretended to pout, her hands finding their way into his hair to keep his face near hers. Dick laughed, kissing her again. He stroked her cheek with a smile.

"Then I'll just _make sure_ you have fun," Dick breathed, his lips brushing hers. His blue eyes were sleepy in the dark and he couldn't take them off of her; he could only watch her with blind, unwavering admiration. "You're so beautiful," he whispered, still smiling, his hand on her cheek.

"And I never get tired of hearing it." She giggled and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes. "And I'm so lucky."

"I'm the lucky one," he smiled, watching her face. She shook her head.

"Nope." She snuggled closer to his chest.

"Let's settle on we're both pretty lucky," he chuckled. "Speaking of, our little bundle of joy will probably want to be fed soon," Dick smiled, stroking Harley's hair. He just wanted to hold her and never let her go.

"Mmm, Alfred can do it," she sighed. She smiled as she kissed his neck.

"What?" Dick giggled, closing his eyes. Her lips on his skin was electric.

"If you leave this bed one more time, by the time you get back, I'll be asleep," she warned against his skin, her lips still turned up in a smile.

"Fine then I won't leave," he smiled, his thumb tracing little circles over her skin.

"And if your daughter wants to be fed?" she asked.

"Then I guess I'm going to have to go do that," Dick said lamely, kissing her head. Harley laughed.

"And then we're back to square one," she challenged. She tilted her head to smile up at him.

"Not if we don't want to be." Dick kissed her gently, pulling her close.

"But you never decided what point you wanted us to be at." She grinned at him.

"Well I don't want to rush," he grinned, kissing her again. "And if you would stop talking..." He lifted her up and settled her on his chest again, biting her ear with a smile.

She laughed. "You know that's never going to happen." She propped her elbows up on his chest to smile down at him. "And I see how you wanted us," she giggled and leaned down to kiss his neck, her hands sliding up into his hair. "Just admit you love it when I'm on top," she murmured.

"I love it," he laughed, catching her chin. He gently pulled her lips to his so he could kiss her again, biting her lip. Dick held her close, one hand on her cheek, the other sliding down her back.

"Then it'd only be a problem if I had a problem with it." She kissed him again. "Lucky for you..." She grinned. Dick laughed and kissed her again, pulling her close.

"My angel," he smiled, his lips brushing hers.

"And angel's the word you use to describe me after what we were just talking about?" she teased. She kissed him, tugging at his bottom lip with her teeth.

"Well you weren't always my angel. But you are now. And you're all I want hereafter," he sighed, closing his eyes. Dick suddenly wound his arm around her waist, his other hand slipping into her hair as he flipped her over, her knees draped over his legs as he held her close and kissed her with dizzying passion. Harley moaned in surprise, her back arching. She laughed.

"This works too," she gasped before kissing him again. Dick chuckled against her lips and tilted his head to kiss her better, his hand tangled in her hair. When he broke the kiss off with a gasp, he bit her lip and then his lips trailed down her neck, over her bare chest, and down her stomach; planting kisses on every scar on her pale skin. Dick sighed slowly, his breath a whisper against her waist as he slid her underwear down her legs with a mischievous smile up at her. "You don't need to try for brownie points," she breathed as she gasped for air.

"You know, I was thinking about sticking my nose somewhere else," he grinned, kissing just below her belly button. "Since you're _so concerned_ that you won't have fun if we just jump in," Dick chuckled, his hands trailing up her legs, his fingers light. Harley lifted her head up to look at him.

"Well it got your attention, didn't it?" She laughed. She was trying not to tense at his every touch and kiss but not succeeding. Dick grinned, watching her as he ran his hands up her waist and over her chest.

"You always have my attention."

"And I must say you are very adept at getting mine." She smiled at him before dropping her head back against the pillow. Dick kissed down her stomach, lower and lower, bracing his hands on her thighs. The baby monitor on the bedside table lit up, and Haly fussed before starting to cry down the hall. Dick chuckled and shook his head, sitting up on his knees.

"Oh my little angels," he smiled down at Harley, leaning forward over her to stroke her cheek. He sighed. "If you're asleep before I get back, sweet dreams," he kissed her forehead and got up, walking to the door. He glanced back at her with a smile. "I love you," he whispered. Harley groaned and fell back against the pillows. She absolutely did not want to keep her promise that'd she'd fall asleep now. Her heart was still pounding, and her breathing still ragged.

"Hey sweetheart," Dick whispered to Haly, picking her up. Harley could hear them over the baby monitor. "Let's go get you a bottle. Shhhhh it's ok..." Dick picked up the baby monitor and took it with them. "Want to tell mommy about it? Yeah, you tell her." Haly continued to cry as Dick walked down the stairs. Harley smiled to herself.

"Don't worry Haly, I could cry too," she mumbled. If she'd ever have had a moment to think about what life would be like with the Joker gone, she wouldn't have guessed busy. But it was. It seemed like she and Dick had even less time together.

"There you go," Dick said to Haly, cradling her close. She sucked the bottle happily, her wide blue eyes focused on him for a bit before wandering around the dark kitchen. Dick glanced at the baby monitor. "Do you think mommy misses us?" He whispered, chuckling. He sighed. "Isn't mommy just the prettiest, funniest, most wonderful lady you've ever met? Well you certainly think so, you've only met a few ladies," Dick smiled, and Haly cooed at the sound of his voice. "And I get to marry her."

Harley snuggled up under the covers as she giggled. It was relaxing listening to him talk. She tucked the blankets around her shoulders as she looked at the baby monitor.

"And I'm kinda pretty and funny and wonderful too, if I do say so myself. So you inherited all that. You're gonna be a heartbreaker," he bounced Haly a bit, and she gurgled happily. Dick laughed, leaning closer to the monitor. "I love you. And I love our kid, too," he whispered, and she could tell he was smiling.

"Yeah you think your funny," she mumbled, rolling onto her side.

"Ok sweetie, time to get you changed and sleeping again," he said quietly, carrying Haly up the stairs. Once in the nursery he quickly changed her diaper and cradled her close, rocking her back to sleep. Harley could feel the relaxation of the room settling over her as she waited for him to come back. She blinked her eyes open, fighting the exhaustion as she listened to Dick lulling Haly to sleep. He began to sing again, and Harley could hear Haly still fussing a bit as she drifted off. "There you go, little angel," Dick purred, watching her sleep. He couldn't believe that he and _Harley Quinn_ , someone he used to want to put behind bars, had made something so beautiful. Haly was quiet as he lowered her into her crib and stroked her cheek, watching her for a moment longer before he went back to he and Harley's room. "Still awake, Harles?" he said quietly, closing the door behind himself. Dick walked to the bed and smiled down at her.

"No," she groaned and hugged the pillow, her eyes closed.

"Good. Go back to sleep," he laid down beside her, working himself under the covers and wrapping an arm around her waist. Pulling her back against his chest, Dick tucked his knees behind hers. He smiled a little and kissed the back of her neck. "I love you." She rolled her head toward him a little.

"I love you too," she whispered, snuggling closer to his body heat.

"I'm sorry we didn't get to fool around," he held her close, his lips against her forehead.

"That's okay," she sighed. "I'll still be your fool if you still be my hero." Her hand was curled against his chest, her eyes still closed. Dick smiled, relaxing into the warm sheets with his arms around her and his face buried in the top of her head. Her blonde hair smelled sweet and rosy, and he couldn't remember a time when he'd felt more relaxed and contented. He kissed her head. He didn't care if they were fooling around or just laying together. He couldn't imagine a better way to spend a night.

"Always," he whispered lovingly.


	4. Batfamily One-Shot: Jason's Lament

_**Taking place between Parts Four and Five.**_

The rain came down heavily just as the figures rushed towards the dodgy bar, coats pulled up around faces and heads tucked to avoid the torrent. The streetlamps caught the streaks of rain in brief comets of light before they splashed in the already growing puddles in the heavily cracked pavement. The two figures disappeared into the door, and Dick shook his hair out as Will laughed, shielding his face as he removed his police cap.

"You had to tell me to park nearly a block away," he laughed and shook his head.

"Well there was nowhere to park and you have to be able to get back to your car should an emergency arise, so down the block it was. Come on, let's get a drink." Dick beamed and shrugged his coat off, walking towards the bar. Someone bumped into him.

"Shit." Jason swore. He held his glass tightly to keep anymore from spilling on his jacket before downing it. Dick blinked hard and then narrowed his eyes.

"Jason?" he asked in surprise, shaking his head. "What the-" he raised his eyebrows at the alcohol-soaked leather aroma of his brother before stepping back. "Whoa, Jay, how long have you been here?" Jason squinted at him and looked at his watch. He tried to judge the distance between the hands.

"A while. How long have you been here? You could have at least said hello."

"I just walked in the door," Dick laughed, pushing his wet hair back. "You look like you could be on your way out." He smiled at Will. "Go get us a couple of sodas, on me."

"Put vodka in mine," Jason told him seriously, leaning against Dick.

"I'm not buying you anything but water, Jason, you already smell dehydrated enough."

"That's why I need a drink." He stumbled to the bar and smacked his hand against it. "Another!"

"Ignore my brother," Dick snapped at the bartender as she came over. He glared at Jason. "Did you open a tab!?"

"Opening suggests I mean to close it. I _have_ a tab. Would you like to share?" he slurred.

"I don't drink. Remember after Harley? I really don't drink with _you_." He smiled, catching Jason's arm and guiding him to the table where Will was sitting. Will eyed Dick's younger brother.

"Isn't he a little young to be…?"

"Aren't you a little old," Jason mumbled. He scooted his chair back suddenly and slouched his elbows on the table. Dick laughed.

"He'll be fine. How much longer you got for your break?" Dick asked Will, sipping the soda he'd bought. Will glanced at his watch.

"Five, maybe ten minutes." He smiled. "No rush."

"So Jason. What sorrows are you drowning tonight?" Dick inquired, trying to smother his amusement at how completely plastered his brother was. Jason narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him.

"Why? What 'ave you heard?" he slurred.

"Only the ones you're confirming," Dick smiled at him and glanced at Will. He laughed into his drink.

"What am I confirming? I'm not confirming anything." He stood up and tilted to the side. "There's nothing to confirm. I'm fine." He fell into the chair beside him. "I'm fine," he mumbled.

"I'm sure you are." Dick leaned towards Will, his voice nearly inaudible as he whispered to him. "Watch this," he wiggled his eyebrows a bit and then looked at Jason. "So it has nothing to do with... Pamela Isley?" He emphasized the last two words.

"No," he whined. "And it has nothing to do with you being a _complete asshole_."

"Oh, it has nothing to do with Poison Ivy? At all? Running away to the Amazon?" Dick put an arm around Jason's shoulder.

"Stop it. No. No. Stop." He pushed Dick away and fell against the table. "No more words." He covered Dick's mouth. Dick laughed and pulled Jason's hand away.

"You smell like whiskey soaked cigarettes," he commented. "So it does have something to do with Ivy. You know I distinctly remember you making fun of me for drinking over a girl when I did, and now you're in the same boat."

"Escuse me?" Jason squinted at him. "I believe I was the one who _got_ you drunk over that. So shut up fuck head. Ha."

"True. And I was in a worse situation, my girl had died and I'd just slept with my ex, too, so what's your excuse? She just ran away. Willingly left you." Dick raised his eyebrows. Will snorted, and pulled his hat back on.

"I think I want to hit you. I just don't know if I can." Jason swayed. "Will you stand still?"

"I'm afraid I have a shift to get back on," Will laughed as he stood. Dick bid him goodbye and he left as Dick dodged a weak blow from Jason.

"Whoa, hey, brother don't get too cocky," Dick laughed. "I'm only teasing you."

"You're cocky. You're name is Dick." He started giggling uncontrollably.

"Ha ha never heard that one before." He snorted, sipping his soda.

"I know I'm so clever. Get on my level." He stared at the wall. "I'm tired. Are you tired? What time is it?"

"It's really not late at all, Jay." Dick looked down. "How are you, on the relationship front? I mean, are you... Have you been trying to find someone else? It'd be good for you."

"I'm sorry. You're giving relationship advice?" He grabbed Dick's soda and took a gulp before frowning at it. "Can we give me like... a week... or a least a few more bottles of rum?""

"Sure Jay. Time, not the rum, you don't need any more to drink."

"Yes I do." He grabbed Dick's shirt. "I'm not blackout drunk yet. I know I'm not. Pinky swear. Cross my heart and hope to die." Dick shoved Jason back in surprise, forcing him to release his shirt.

"You know what? Fine. A couple more. Don't blame me when you're face down in a toilet tomorrow." Dick stared at him pointedly, and then got him a couple more drinks.

"Yes." Jason chugged a drink. "How about you?" He stared at Dick. "It's not as fun to drink alone. Come on big bro. Let's go. Hehe, rhyme." Dick rolled his eyes.

"And return home to Harley half drunk? No thanks."

"No. Return _whole_ drunk. Huh?" He nudged him. "Then everyone wins."

"And have us both throwing up in the morning? I don't think so. I'll have one drink, how's that?" Dick smiled a little, clapping Jason on the shoulder.

"One drink after this one," he corrected.

"No, just one." Dick stood and helped Jason to his feet, going to the bar with him. He steadied his brother on a barstool and sat down, ordering himself a drink as Jason shouted his own order.

"Let's play a little drinking game I like to call 'whoever's life sucks the most chugs.' Jason quickly downed his drink as soon as it was handed to him.

"Looks like yours is worse," Dick muttered, sipping his drink. "I hope you're going home after this."

"What home," Jason muttered. Dick glanced at him, his dark hair falling in front of his face, light eyes narrowing a bit.

"Don't talk like that, Jason," he elbowed him gently. "You've got a home."

"No, no," Jason closed his eyes and waved his hand as he tried to think of a train of thought, "I have a place. Not a house. I mean," he tapped against Dick's arm to make sure he had his attention, "what am I doing, you know? Like, before all this," he waved his arms, "I used to know what I was doin. Now." He slumped against the table. "Do you know how many villains are in Arkham? A lot. And, and there are _so many_ Bruces running around. We've got Bruce," he started ticking off on his fingers, "and you, and the devil, and, and Oracle, and... others. And... what's the point?"

"Yep, you're losing coherence, Jay. What do you mean?" Dick set his drink down, barely having touched it. He turned to Jason. "What do you mean, 'what's the point?'"

"Me. In the Batfamily. What's the point?" He slouched back in his chair and huffed out a breath of air. "We both know I'm not like you or Bruce. I'm not good." His head rolled on to his shoulder. "I wanted to help Gotham, but how can you do it if even Batman's against us?"

"Batman's not against us." Dick smiled a little. "And you are good, Jason, we're all good in our own ways."

"Yeah me, not us. You're the good son." Jason nodded vigorously.

"I thought we all unanimously agreed that was Tim," Dick shook his head. "You're good, Jason. You just have some room for improvement, like we all do."

"No. You don't get it. No." He tapped his hands against his forehead in frustration. "I can't see it. I can't see this cookie cutter, white picket fence, happy go lucky way you and Bruce follow. I never got it. The action made the difference," he gestured his arm straight in front of him and almost smacked Dick, "but he always got mad. He didn't get it. They just keep coming back. That's exhausting." He slid down in his chair. "It just never ends unless you end it. But _apparently_ that's not okay," he muttered.

"No," Dick frowned and shook his head, and then chuckled quietly at his brother. Jason glared at him.

"Wha' are you laughing at?"

"Come on," Dick grabbed Jason's arm and paid his tab, pulling his arm over his neck. "Let's get you home."

"What? No, but we just got here," he whined, trying to struggle back to the bar.

"No Jason," Dick pulled his brother with him out the door.

"You're not the boss of me." Jason elbowed him away. "You don't have to treat me like a child."

"I'm not treating you like a child," Dick sighed in exasperation. "I'm treating you like my drunk brother who I want to help home."

"I can take care of myself," he slurred, stumbling away from Dick.

"Jason stop it. I know you can, I just want to help." He gruffly grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door. "Where's your bike?" Jason fumbled to find his keys in his pockets.

"Umm." He held the keys out in front of him like they'd help lead him to his bike. Dick sighed impatiently and pulled his coat tighter around him in the rain.

"Oh just give me the keys," he snapped, trying to grab them out of Jason's hand. Jason jerked away, and the keys fell into a puddle between them. He stared stupidly at them for a moment.

"Look what you did."

"Come on, let's get out of here," Dick knelt to pick them up, and then yawned. "Do you remember where you parked it?"

"No. I didn't think I'd be _leaving_." He pulled his jacket closer. "It's wet. Let's just go back inside."

Dick hesitated and frowned. "No more drinking."

"It's a bar. There will be drinkin. That's why I came here." He nodded vigorously.

"Jason, no. If we go back inside, you're going to tell me what's wrong and you're going to drink some water, or we are walking home."

"I am doing none of those things!" Jason cried. "Why don't you go fuck yourself? I'll find my own way." He shoved Dick and stumbled down the sidewalk. Dick practically pulled his own hair, growling in frustration. He wanted to let his infuriating brother walk his ass wherever he was trying to go in the rain, but he knew he couldn't. He didn't really think he wanted to, either.

"Jason! Jay, wait up. Come on," he caught his jacket sleeve. Dick tugged his own jacket off and held it above himself and his brother, trying to block some of the rain. "Let me call you a cab and we can have some beers at your place, eh?" He smiled and elbowed him a bit. Jason wiped the rain out off his face.

"Fine. But I don't need you. I don't need anyone," he mumbled.

"Yeah, I know," Dick chuckled and followed along beside him. "Wish it wasn't so late. Maybe we could hit the movies." Dick glanced over his shoulder as a taxi pulled to the curb.

"You boys need a ride?" The driver called, and Dick smiled, pulling the back door open. He and Jason piled in.

"Thanks. That's very kind of you to stop," he smiled at the middle aged woman driving the van.

"Oh I always prowl the bars at this hour, especially when it's rainy." She grunted. "Where to, boy? Since you seem to be the sober one?" Dick laughed and told her Jason's address as she started driving.

"Wait," Jason glanced around, "we forgot my motorcycle."

"We'll get it tomorrow, Jay," Dick assured him, leaning back in the seat.

"No I _need_ it." He yanked at the door handle. When it didn't work, he looked around him in confusion. "Am I in a cop car?"

"No, Jason it's a cab," Dick laughed.

"Good because I haven't done anything _really_ bad in a while." He slumped against the door. "Are we there yet?" he whined.

"Nope. You gonna tell me whether or not this is about _her_?" Dick glanced at him, mopping his dark hair out of his eyes.

"No." Jason crossed his arms and pouted.

"Jason," Dick looked at him sternly.

"Why does this have to be about anything?" he cried and flung his arms out before hunching back down. "Leave me alone."

"Alright Jay. Hold it in, just like Bruce. You and Damian have got to be the most like him, you know. You could be a blood son. Despite how much you hate the two of them…" Dick yawned and stretched in the back seat.

"I'm not Batman!" Jason swung at him, and Dick caught his hand. "Don't you fucking say that."

"I didn't say that," Dick glanced at the driver. "I said you're a lot like Bruce. You act like him, and you know what? I think you _try_ to," he teased.

"And I think you try to be a dick," he mumbled and then glanced up at him and giggled. "Dick. Get it?"

"I get it, Jason," Dick rolled his eyes. "You are a good son, you know, no matter what you think. No matter what Bruce says."

"Apparently not good enough," he muttered. He sat up and smacked Dick on the arm. "Do you know what's _in_ the Amazon? _Nothing_. There's not buildings… or streets… or stuff. It's just…" he waved his hands in front of Dick's face, "the Amazon."

"Yeah," Dick urged. "And…?"

"And what?" Jason demanded. "What do you want to hear? That I'm alone, again. That not everyone gets a happy ending like you? That she left? Is that what you want to hear?" He leaned forward to talk to the cabbie. "Can we stop at the nearest liquor store please?"

"No, please don't Ma'am," Dick leaned forward.

"Jason, I know that she left. Why didn't you fight for her?" He glanced at him. Jason stared at him in confusion.

"Why would I stop her from doing what she wanted?"

"No- Jay, come on. She _wanted you_ to fight for her. She… Well I can't tell you what she would have wanted, but you should have. No, that's not right either." Dick sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "You can't always be like Bruce, Jason. You should have talked to her. You still should. Write her a letter," he said lamely.

"I don't want to talk about this." Jason turned angrily away. Dick nodded a bit.

"Ok. This is the last we'll talk of it. But… I want to tell you that if I could trade my happy ending for yours, I would." Dick hesitated, thinking of Harley. Thinking of the baby. He chuckled softly. "Actually, you know, I don't know that I could." He looked over at Jason. "I know what it's like to lose someone you love."

"La, la, la," Jason covered his ears, "I'm not listening."

Dick laughed and nudged his arm, smiling. "We're almost to your house."

"Good," he muttered. "Then I don't have to put up with you anymore."

"Oh no, you stayed with me," Dick grinned.

"But I'm fine." Jason flailed in annoyance. "I'm fine."

"Yeah yeah, I know," he laughed, sitting up as the driver pulled up to the curb and he paid the fare. Dick hauled Jason out into the street. It had stopped raining.

"No, no, no," Jason shoved him away, "you don't get it," he slurred. "She hates me-men. She hates men. And me. How di-did I think it wou-would work," he hiccuped and stopped for a second. "I thought it would work." He sank down to the ground with a groan. "I th-thought I would work. I'm turning into you."

"What, you're emoting?" Dick asked sarcastically, rummaging around in Jason's coat pockets for his apartment keys.

"No." He crossed his arms, making it more difficult for Dick.

"Then what," Dick sighed, straightening up and staring at him with his arms crossed. "You sure you don't want to go sit in your warm apartment rather than on the wet pavement?"

"Are you sure you don't wanna shut up?" Jason muttered. Dick shivered a bit and looked around the dark street, pulling his wet jacket back on.

"Ok." He fell silent, staring up at the street lamp. It still misted a bit outside, the moisture catching the light.

"You think I'm a moron," Jason accused. "I'm drunk not stupid. You don't have to treat me like a child."

"Jason, I'm not going to win with you, so I'm going to let you sit there until you get cold and then I'm going to take you inside," Dick raised his eyebrows at him, shivering again. "I'm not trying to treat you like a child, I'm treating you like the petulant, difficult asshole you're being."

"Well at least I'm smart enough to realize you took my keys when we left the bar," Jason fired back.

"You keep your house keys on the same ring? I don't," Dick chuckled, pulling them out of his pocket and shaking his head. "Harley keeps saying I'm losing it." He smiled a little and held his hand out to help Jason up. Jason ignored his hand and pushed himself clumsily to his feet. He glared at Dick and jerked straight when he swayed. Laughing slightly, Dick shook his head again. "Jason, I'm sorry," he said lamely, unlocking the door and then heading up the stairs to Jason's apartment. He unlocked that door as well and then stepped aside to let Jason in. Jason stumbled past him and dropped immediately onto the couch, nearly sliding off. Dick sighed and stared at him. "You're a mess, little brother."

"You should have seen yourself over the Harley mess. At least I know how to hold my liquor."

"You've got me there," he sighed, dragging Jason to his feet again and pulling him towards his bedroom. When it became clear that that wasn't going to work, Dick pulled Jason's arm around his shoulders and walked to the bedroom door. He had to force it open, and nearly fell with Jason hanging off of his shoulder.

"I thought you were tough, pretty boy. Whas the matter?" he slurred.

"Okay, I thought I was over the 'Pretty Boy' title when I donned the red uniform," Dick muttered, pulling Jason's jacket off for him and dumping him into his bed.

"Never," Jason mumbled into his pillow, "not until you fix whatever's wrong with your pretty boy face."

"Uh huh. You gonna take your wet pants off or not?" Dick watched him. Jason sat up abruptly and stared at him, giggling like a maniac.

"Why, are your pants wet?"

"Jesus, Jason," Dick groaned, rummaging around on the messy floor, reminiscent of his own messy bedroom at home, and picked up a pair of sweatpants. He threw them at Jason, hiding his amused smile. "Just shut up, I don't want you to get sick or something."

"Well you're sick…" He snorted as he tried not to laugh. "Sick in the head if you're wet." He burst into another fit of laughter. Dick rubbed his temples in irritation.

"I can't even deal with this."

"They're your pants. I'm not dealing with it." He laid back down.

"Oh, you're…" Dick trailed off before he said something rude. He shook his head. "If you want to sleep in rain-soaked clothes, that's not my problem. I need to get back to Harley. _Don't_ go back out," Dick glared at him, meaning his words. "And I'm taking away all of the booze you have here." Jason giggled.

"Good luck with that."

"Even the stuff hidden in here," Dick raised his eyebrows at him.

"I'd like to see you try." He glared up at Dick, who casually looked around the room before walking towards the stash hidden in the closet.

"Don't you fucking dare!" Jason cried. Dick stared at him calmly and pulled the closet door open. "You're dead to me," he warned. Dick stared at him a moment more, and then reached down to grab the bottles lying haphazardly on the floor. He bolted out of the room before Jason could catch him, quickly taking the bottles out of his liquor cabinet and then adding Jason's flask to the pile in his arms. As he strode to the door, he glanced toward the window and saw a lone potted plant, sitting on the sill forlornly, as if also waiting for Ivy to come back. Dick smiled a little and locked the door before shutting it behind him.


	5. Harleywing One-Shot: Halloween

**_Taking place between Parts Four and Five._**

"Harley!" Dick cried, running down the stairs. "You didn't take that pie out of the oven did you?" He swung around the kitchen door, holding onto the frame with one hand. Wally tore in after him, crashing into the kitchen table leg. When Harley turned around, Dick was shirtless and in black suit pants, his eyebrows knit in worry.

"What? No I was getting a bowl down." She stretched up to grab a bowl off the top shelf, a hand on her swollen stomach.

"Be careful!" he whined, crossing the room to help her.

"I am," she laughed. "And weren't you freaking out about pie?"

"Yeah, because I didn't want you to have to bend down to get it out-" he leaned over to check on the pumpkin pie in the oven.

"You worry too much." Harley kissed his cheek. "I was thinking about making homemade whipped cream," she set the bowl on the counter, "but if you're going to be overprotective, you're going to end up whipping all of it." Wally wove around her legs, his tail smacking against the cabinets.

"I just don't want you to hurt yourself," Dick grinned, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning in for a kiss. Their doorbell rang. Wally barked and ran toward the door as Clark trotted after him.

"Am I going to hurt myself going to answer that?" she teased.

"Well I could answer it," Dick gestured to his bare torso, "y'know, give the neighborhood moms a thrill."

"You'd give old Miss Hopkins across the street a heart attack." She giggled and gave him a quick kiss before heading to open the door. Five of the neighborhood kids shouted 'trick or treat' when she did, dressed up from head to toe and grinning broadly. Harley could hear Dick humming in the kitchen, and the TV was on in the living room.

"Happy Halloween!" Harley grabbed the bowl of candy they had by the door and offered them some. They eagerly took some and ran off down the sidewalk, giggling and talking. Darkness was falling and kids were flooding the streets in costume.

"Harley!" Dick called from the house.

"Yeah?!" She closed the door, setting the bowl down and wandering back toward the kitchen to find him.

"I don't know what to wear," Dick grinned, running a hand through his hair. "The guys will be here any minute."

"You think you have problems. There's not many costumes for pregnant ladies." She gave him a sly smile. "Especially that one you tore in half a few months ago."

"You know what, Quinn?" Dick grinned, walking towards her. He pulled her into his arms, leaning in to kiss her. The doorbell rang again, and he laughed.

"Hold that thought," she giggled and went to answer the door again.

"Trick or treat!" Lilly shouted, Will and Molly standing behind her.

"Elsa!" Harley cried, kneeling down with the bowl of candy in front of Lilly and admiring her Elsa costume. Lilly grinned, twirling.

"Daddy wouldn't let me get a wig," she pouted. There were snowflake barrettes in her hair, holding it back. She pointed at Harley's belly; she wore an orange sweater with a jack-o-lantern face on her baby bump. "Did you eat pumpkin seeds?"

"I did," Harley sighed. "But we made pumpkin pie with the actual pumpkins."

"Oh. Can I have some?" She laughed, running into their house.

"Lilly, sweetie come back-" Will cried, and then stopped when he saw Dick. Molly covered her mouth and giggled.

"You're just missing the white cuffs and a bow tie," she laughed. Dick's eyes went wide.

"That is _perfect!_ " he shouted, running up the stairs.

"Dick that is one costume that's off limits!" Harley called up the stairs after him. "You're not giving a show for all those kids!"

"Oh come on!" he cried. Will laughed, guiding Lilly back out the door.

"I am carrying your child!" she taunted.

"Don't tease me like that," he grinned, coming back down in a black t shirt. "You'd love it if I dressed like one of the characters from Magic Mike."

"Only when you dress like that just for me."

"Who's Magic Mike?" Lilly asked and the smile slid of Harley's face as she glanced at Will and Molly.

"It's a grown up movie, Lilly," Will patted her back. "And we should go, you have other houses to visit."

"There's magic? Like Elsa's?" Lilly trailed after her father, and Harley followed them to the door, grabbing the candy bowl when she saw the group of kids coming up the walk.

"Trick or treat!" they all cried, laughing. They took their candy and scampered off.

"Happy Halloween!" Harley called after them. She hugged Molly goodbye. "And happy Halloween to you guys too. You have to tell me all about the candy you get," she told Lilly.

"I will!" she shouted back over her dad's shoulder. Dick smiled and waved, closing the door behind them.

"Well now what am I supposed to wear?" Dick laughed.

"See," she moved closer to him, laying her arms over his shoulders, "I was more concerned with picking up with where we left off."

"Remind me where that was again?" Dick grinned, kissing her slowly as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I think you're just about there," she teased, biting his lip. Dick smiled and kissed to her ear.

"How bout now?" he whispered lovingly, stroking her belly gently with his thumb.

"Mmmm," she pretended to think, "I'll take it." She giggled. Dick smiled and kissed her cheek as the timer beeped in the kitchen.

"Pie is ready!" He took her hand and led her to the kitchen, grabbing a pair of oven mitts and leaning down to take it out of the oven.

"What do you think?" Harley leaned against the counter. "Less than five minutes to the next trick or treaters?" She gauged by the stove clock. It was still early, and they were just getting started, but she doubted they'd be infrequent. Dick chuckled.

"I'll bet I can do a lot in five minutes," he smiled coyly, his hands taking her hips and pulling her against him as he leaned down to kiss her, grinning against her lips. "I've gotta leave the oven mitts on, you're so hot," he laughed. Harley giggled, clinging to his t shirt.

"Well only one of us has to stay presentable to open the door."

"Again I offer up: stripper costume," he laughed, his lips brushing hers.

"If the door rings early, maybe you should run up and change quick," she breathed against his lips. "Give me a private show."

"Oh you know you get what you want when you say it like that," he closed his eyes, grinning. He kissed her, slowly and gently, his hand coming to rest on the back of her head.

"I always get what I want," she giggled. She tugged him closer by his shirt and bounced up on her heels a little to kiss him better. Dick smiled into her kiss, and laughed when the doorbell rang. Harley sighed and rolled her eyes. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek before heading to the door.

The two children there shouted trick or treat, dressed as Batman and Harley Quinn.

"Happy Halloween! I love your costumes." She held out the bowl of candy to them. Dick laughed behind her, and they took the candy before scampering back down the sidewalk. Jason yelled 'boo' at them as he walked up it, and they scattered over the lawn, screaming.

"Jason, try not to scare the children," Harley scolded and set the bowl aside.

"Why? That's the only good thing about this suck holiday," he muttered. His face was painted in gruesome zombie makeup, his dark hair falling over his forehead. "Tim is parking the car," he gestured with a thumb over his shoulder.

"Well if you hate the holiday so much, you don't get any candy," Harley told him as she smacked his hand away from the bowl.

"Harley is this a good costume?!" Dick ran down the stairs in a tuxedo, his hair slicked back.

"What? Going as Bruce this year?" Jason asked, sneaking some candy while Harley's back was to him.

"No! I'm James Bond," Dick grinned. "Shut up, I can't think of a costume. Harley won't let me be a stripper."

"Oh my God that's so unreasonable," Jason mocked, tossing a mini Twix into his mouth.

"You look handsome." Harley kissed Dick's cheek. Dick grinned, and Jason cried out as the door hit him in the back of the head. Tim grinned around the frame of it.

"Did I get you?" He smirked.

"What do you think?" He slammed the door back toward him. Tim shouted angrily and pulled his head out just in time, and the door slammed.

"Hey!" Dick barked. "Knock it off, you two."

"He started it," Jason muttered.

"Go into the living room. Where's Ivy?" Dick frowned as he let Tim and Steph in.

"They're fighting," Tim mocked at the back of Jason's head. He wore a Superboy costume, and Steph, dressed as Supergirl, stumbled into the house behind him, giggling.

"Hey Steph." Harley laughed at the sight of her. She absentmindedly trailed a thumb across her stomach. "Happy Halloween."

"I brought you baby chocolate!" She squealed, holding out a bag of candy.

"She took it from some kid who gave it to her because she thought she was _really_ Supergirl," Tim muttered, shutting the door behind them.

"Hey, she offered it up," Steph grinned. "I'm cold," she wrapped her arms around her torso. Her shirt barely covered her chest, and the skirt wasn't much better.

"Of course you are," Harley laughed. "Would you like a sweater?"

"And ruin the costume?" she cried, grinning. "I look _hot,_ " Steph laughed.

"Yeah," Tim agreed before blushing a bit. Dick laughed at the two of them as the doorbell rang again.

"Alright, go make yourself comfy in the living room-" he knelt and greeted the trick or treaters at the door, giving them their candy and sending them on their way. He closed the door and turned to Harley. "Sounds like we're not going to get a moment's peace," he smiled, kissing her gently.

"Get used to it," she teased, resting her hand on her stomach.

"I can't wait," Dick grinned, his fingers lacing with hers on her belly. The doorbell rang again, and he rolled his eyes. "Hold that thought, beautiful," he smiled, walking back to the door. Steph ran up to Harley and hugged her.

"Harley, Tim was saying inappropriate things!" she cried, laughing as Tim shouted angrily at her from the other room.

"But you think it's a good thing," Harley laughed. "So why are you telling me?"

"Because he's annoying," she shouted towards the living room with a grin, and then she turned back to Harley. "My head feels funny," she giggled.

"Yeah maybe we should get some food in you." She grabbed Steph's arm to lead her toward the kitchen. "Do you want some pie?"

"Yes!" Steph dropped down at the table as Selina came bounding into the room, wearing stilettos and fishnets and cat ears.

"Can I have some?!" she asked with a grin. Bruce was dragged behind her, his hand in hers. He wore a dark brown overcoat over a nice suit, and floppy brown dog ears fell over his own.

"Sure thing!" Harley called back as she disappeared into the kitchen. "Dick didn't get around to making any whipped cream so it looks like you're getting store bought."

"Poo, no fresh cream," Selina giggled, kissing Bruce's cheek. "You are so adorable," she played with the dog ears, kissing him again.

"How long do I have to wear these?" he asked.

"All night, until I get you alone and then even after that," she giggled and then purred, laying her head on his chest. "I wish you would have let me draw the nose on."

"And the answer is still no."

"Tim," Jason walked by munching on skittles. "Did you ask your boyfriend before borrowing his clothes?"

"She's not- what? Superboy?" He looked away from the TV confusedly and then threw a popcorn ball at him. "Shut up, ass. Where's your girlfriend?"

"She's on her way," Jason defended, but he sounded a little unsure.

"Oooh lady troubles? Want some advice?" Tim smirked.

"Why the hell would I want your advice?" Jason scoffed. He was stealing candy from the bowl when the doorbell rang, so he opened it to the chorus of 'trick or treat.'

"Cuz you can't keep a girl," Tim stage whispered as he walked past Jason, giving the kids candy. Dick came to the door and grinned at the other two. The kids ran back down the sidewalk excitedly and Dick clapped his brothers on the shoulders.

"You guys want something to drink? I've got cider, alcoholic and non, and plenty of other stuff if you're not interested in that," he smiled. "Jason, where's Ivy?"

"Ha!" Tim cried, pointing. "Halfway across the world, if she's smart."

"And what about you, huh?" Jason smacked the back of his head. "Where's your girlfriend?"

"She's- y'know what, a-"

"Tim is proudly single," Dick laughed, smacking Jason on the back of the head, too. "Now quit fighting. Damian will be here soon."

"Oh like he'll stop fighting," Harley teased. She handed Tim and Jason a piece of pie each. Dick followed Harley back to the kitchen with a smile.

"Look at you, mothering already," he grinned, wrapping his arms around her.

"They can't talk if they're eating," she giggled, kissing his nose. "You might want to get some pie before it's all gone."

"I think my pumpkin and I could make some more," he smiled, holding her close and nuzzling her cheek. "It's fun baking with you, cutie pie." Dick laughed.

"Your puns only get better." She rolled her eyes at him but couldn't help grinning.

"They get you to smile and that's all I could ask for," Dick grinned back, kissing her cheek.

"Well you could ask for some alone time." She smiled at the sound of all the voices in the hall and the doorbell.

"Oh could I," Dick smiled, kissing her slowly.

"Dick! Your doorbell keeps ringing!" Jason shouted. Dick groaned.

"Answer it!"

"It's not my house!"

Dick sighed and stole another kiss before answering the door to Batgirl. "Um- um- B-Batgirl?" He stuttered. Harley peeked around his shoulder and beamed.

"Nope," she grinned. Dick looked between her and Batgirl.

"Oh stop staring." Ivy stepped past Dick toward Harley, who'd followed behind him.

"Red!" She laughed. "You look great." She admired Ivy's bat suit. Dick still looked stunned, and Harley grinned at him.

"Well you weren't the batboy we were trying to startle, but at least we know it works," she grinned.

"At least we know what works?" Jason asked, stepping into the hall with his empty plate. He froze at the sight of Ivy. "What... what are you wearing?"

"A costume?" She hid her smile at his reaction, but it was still there. He stared at her for a bit longer.

"Harley!?" He stared at her incredulously.

"You look great," Harley repeated, hugging Ivy as she laughed. She pulled Ivy into the kitchen.

"So Jay, you never said what you thought of her costume." She stood behind Ivy grinning at him.

"It's... very Gotham themed," he muttered lamely. Ivy stared at him expectantly.

"Yeah?"

"Okay, no, stop it." He pointed his finger at her. "You know you're not dressed fair."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Ivy asked incredulously.

"I'm gonna side with Jason," Dick added quietly, before slipping out to answer the door when the bell rang.

"You know exactly what that means," Jason defended. "That's why you wore it." Steph giggled and stumbled over to Ivy.

"The Robins all have a thing for Batgirls," she slurred in a loud whisper before giggling harder.

"I'd beg to differ," Damian muttered as he walked into the room and handed Harley a bowl of homemade chip dip for the party. He wore a hat and a white scarf tucked into his suit jacket, complete with a tie. Dick followed him into the room, doubled over in laughter.

"Where have you been?" Bruce asked Damian, and he glanced over his shoulder.

"With a friend- who also put me in this costume and thought it hilarious- _what_ is so _funny,_ Grayson?" he demanded. Jason had started laughing too.

"Damian! You don't get it- like- Damien? The eight year old antichrist in _The Omen_?! That's funny stuff," Dick laughed again, and Damian scoffed at him. Harley elbowed Dick in the side.

"Thank you for the dip," she told Damian.

"I'll give Alfred your compliments," he replied, smiling a little.

"He's not coming?" Harley pouted.

"He said someone had to be there to hand out candy; the Manor is always a favorite trick or treat location," Damian put his hands in his pockets.

"Jeez Bruce, how much do you spend on candy every year?" Harley taunted, laughing. "Oh! I forgot the cider!" She dashed back into the kitchen.

"I spend a bit-" Bruce smirked into his cup, and Selina giggled.

"Don't run you don't want to hurt yourself!" Dick cried, going after her. He accidentally knocked Selina into Bruce, and she wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek.

"I could hurt you just a little," she whispered in his ear, twirling one of the floppy dog ears in her fingers.

"Not here," Bruce scolded with a small smile. Jason was sitting on the couch still staring at Ivy in her costume. Steph sank down on the floor in front of Tim.

"So where's your girlfriend?"

"We broke up," Tim sighed, looking down at the near empty glass in his hands.

"Good. I mean, that's bad. I'm so sorry." She nodded unconvincingly.

"Shut up," he nudged her with his foot, smiling a little. "It was… coming," he shrugged. Tim ran a hand through his hair.

"Jay," Steph giggled, "I can practically see the arousal on your face." She pointed her finger at him and he swatted it away.

"Oh go fly off a bridge."

"I don't get the fascination," Steph shook her head, leaning an arm on Tim's knees. "The suit is a curse. A tight, hot, leather curse with stilettos." She glanced at Jason, grinning.

"Jason!" Harley called. "Will you come help Dick carry the cider? He won't let me."

"But why ask me?" Jason whined.

"To rescue you," Tim laughed, and Jason walked to the kitchen. Dick glanced over his shoulder to check that Harley was across the kitchen.

"It kinda freaked me out too," Dick confessed. "Seriously man, good work. You lucked out," he smirked, glancing over his shoulder and jumping when Harley was right behind him. "But so did I," he laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Love you, dear," Dick grinned.

"Uh huh," she gave him a stern look, "go serve the cider."

"Yes ma'am," he muttered, grinning at her. Dick stole a kiss from her lips and dodged her swatting him away, carrying glasses of cider to Bruce and Selina.

"Is this alcoholic?" Selina asked with a grin, inhaling the scent of the spices.

"Do… you want it to be?" Dick asked, smiling.

"Definitely."

"Then yes!" he laughed. Selina giggled and sipped it, and Dick handed Bruce a glass.

"Am I allowed to get drunk?" Selina asked, downing the cider and giving Dick her glass before leaning on Bruce's shoulder with a smile.

"No," Harley told her as she walked in. She handed Steph and Tim glasses of cider. "You don't get any alcohol," she warned Steph.

"Why not?" Selina whined.

"Poo," Steph frowned, looking down. She elbowed Tim, wiggling her fingers at his cup. "Give me your cider."

"No. I don't want to get in trouble."

"Good choice," Harley advised him before heading back to the kitchen to grab more glasses. Dick met her there and kissed her cheek before walking behind her to grab more glasses of cider.

"Am I in trouble?" he whispered in her ear, kissing her cheek again.

"So much," she laughed, elbowing him away.

"Good. Maybe you'll teach me a lesson later," Dick spanked her, and Jason made fake gagging noises as he walked into the kitchen.

"Oh God why?!" Jason walked back out.

"We only do it to make you uncomfortable," Harley assured him as he left. Dick kissed her gently.

"Love you," he whispered.

"Good." She smirked and gave him a quick kiss. "Love you too."

Dick walked back into the living room, handing a glass of cider to Ivy with a small smile. "Thanks for coming."

"Harley asked me to." She shrugged.

"Either way," Dick smiled. "You make her happy."

"Well you make her happy now." She glanced over at Jason when he started laughing at Tim.

"You make him happy, too," Dick said quietly, watching her.

"Stop it," she warned him. "Stop it with the whole... Just stop."

"What?" Dick looked taken aback.

"You know what." She glared at him. "You always try and make everything better. Just say what you want to say without all the flattery. What do you want?"

"What?" He stared at her in shock. "I don't... I was just being nice."

"Uh huh. We never talk. So why are you here? Jason? The costume? Harley?"

"Because we never talk," Dick said quietly. "Sorry," he backed away, hands raised in surrender. Harley walked up behind him.

"What are you doing?"

"Apparently starting conversations with ulterior motives," he muttered, turning around. She glanced at Ivy.

"Ignore her. She's grumpy." She went and gave Selina her new glass of cider.

"Thank you!" she called after Harley as she went to go answer the door for the trick or treaters. Selina slid off of the arm of the couch and grinned as she landed in Bruce's lap, expertly avoiding spilling her cider. "I was going to make a joke about 'doggie style' but thought better of it," she grinned at Bruce over the lip of her cider glass.

"I think that technically counts as still making the joke." He rested his hands on her hips as he watched her.

"Whatever puts the idea in your head," she whispered, biting one of the floppy dog ears framing his face. Selina grinned at him again. "Come on, lighten up. It's Halloween! It's our night, isn't it? Black cats and bats?" She turned her cider glass around and raised it to Bruce's lips, making him drink it. "You should let loose for tonight. You have three hundred and sixty four other days to be as uptight as you like. Loosen up," she grinned. "Not to say that I don't like you _stiff_."

"Selina." He caught her hands. "Now is not the time," he said firmly but there was a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Why not? We're at a party, with people who fully understand and know and accept us. How could that _not_ be the time?" She laughed, offering him the cider glass again.

"Because half of them are my sons?" He took the glass and took a sip before setting it on the end table. Selina scooped it up again and finished it off, wrapping her arms around his neck. Dick swept by the back of the couch and took the empty glass out of her hand. "Well then how about we ditch early?" She purred. "I bring the tricks, you bring the treat? We can meet on the Gotham Bridge, up in the dark; keep each other warm..." She pressed her nose to his, smiling happily as she closed her eyes. Bruce ran his hands up her arms.

"We should have a date night soon," he whispered. "It's been too long."

"You never have time for me," she whined, sitting back a bit and pouting. He pulled her back closer.

"Well we could do what you suggested. Gotham bridge was it?"

"Maybe. Overlooking the city," she sighed with a smile, wrapping her arms over his shoulders again. Suddenly, Steph thrust her face next to theirs.

"You two know you're not alone, right?" she whispered. Selina planted a hand on her face and shoved her away, laughing.

"Go get me more cider," she smiled.

"Harley won't let me. I'm not allowed near the alcoholic stuff," she muttered. Selina pouted and got up, stroking Bruce's cheek.

"Be back love," she purred and then shouted towards the kitchen. "Dick!"

He tapped her shoulder and grinned, handing her her glass.

"Jeez, try a little harder, that took long enough," she giggled. Dick shrugged.

"I like playing host," he admitted.

"You like playing other things too," Harley whispered as she walked by. Dick straightened up and raised his eyebrows, his cheeks pinkening a bit. He gave Selina her glass and glanced over at Harley with a smile. She was laughing and talking to Tim, her honey hair falling over her shoulders, thin in the long sleeve shirt she wore. One hand rested on her belly, and the other pushed her glasses up her nose. He sighed quietly and smiled, biting his lip.

"I apologize Selina," Bruce said, "apparently you're not the only one with that on your mind." He looked up at Dick. He glanced at them and did a double take.

"What?" He seemed to snap out of his haze, and Selina laughed. Dick looked down and blushed harder.

"So what kind of cider do you want?" Harley asked as she stepped beside him, smiling.

"Me?" Dick looked up in surprise. "I'll... I'll drink."

"Okay." She kissed his cheek before heading back into the kitchen.

"Dick," Stephanie called from the floor, "you're blushing."

"Am I?" He touched his cheek, smiling after Harley. He couldn't help it. A Charlie Brown Halloween special was playing on the TV, and Damian was enthralled, ignoring the rest of them. Dick glanced down at Steph. "Shut up," he muttered. She laughed at him.

"Why is Dick blushing?" Harley asked as she came back in. She offered Dick his alcoholic cider, sipping her regular one.

"Because he's Dick," Selina laughed, kicking his foot playfully. Dick raised the glass to his lips, shrugging. He still couldn't take his eyes off of Harley. She glanced at Steph then Ivy and Jason before back at Dick.

"Okay?" The doorbell rang, and she handed her glass to Dick to go answer it. He sipped his drink and looked down at Selina, who was watching him with a sleepy grin on her face. Dick frowned.

"What are you staring at?"

"You two are just so cute," she sighed, and he shook his head. Once the trick or treaters were gone, Harley came back in and took her glass back.

"Since you like hostessing so much," she grinned at Dick, "maybe you want to be the one to refill the candy bowl."

"Sure," Dick smiled, kissing Harley's head before walking out of the room. Selina giggled and stared up at Harley.

"You have not had that much to drink." She crossed one arm across her chest. "What is it?"

"You two are just cute!" She repeated, grinning. "He was blushing because Steph called him out for staring at you."

"Now you're trying to make me blush," Harley laughed. "Tim I saw that." She turned to glare at Tim. "I told Steph no more alcohol." He guiltily took his glass back from Steph.

"You're no fun," Steph pouted. Dick walked back into the living room and handed Steph her own glass. Dick rolled his eyes at the stern look from Harley.

"It's non alcoholic," he assured her, and then subtly winked at Steph. "But no more after that," he whispered, before walking across the room to Harley.

"Why do you get to be the fun parent, and I have to be the mean one?" she asked quietly before laughing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he feigned innocence and then smiled, kissing her cheek.

"Uh huh." She rolled her eyes and elbowed him. "And are you going to be this accommodating if _she_ ," she put her hand on her stomach, "wants to underage drink?"

"No," Dick said firmly, raising an eyebrow. "She's not allowed to drink at all until she's moved out and not under my control."

"And yet you let Steph? Double standard." She grinned.

"Steph isn't my kid, and she makes her own stupid decisions," he laughed.

"So at least I'll be the fun parent." She giggled and kissed his cheek.

"I don't doubt it," Dick laughed, wrapping his arms around her. "You look terrific by the way."

"I literally look like a pumpkin," she laughed. "You like Halloween too much."

"Nope," Dick smiled, nosing his way to her ear. "So you gonna marry me yet?"

"Whoa!" Jason paused as he was walking by them to refill his cider. "That was terrible. Don't say yes to that."

"Oh come on," Dick called after him, grinning. He'd actually started saying it every now and then, and it was practically an 'I love you.' They both knew if he was serious, he would ask sincerely eventually.

"Say yes to what?" Steph shouted after Jason.

"He asked her to marry him again!" he called back.

"Ugh it can't have been good!" Tim added.

"Does he even have a ring yet?" Selina cried, peeking over the back of the couch. Dick went red and looked down, his lip catching in his teeth.

"Leave him alone," Harley laughed, resting her forehead against him. "You keep asking me, I won't know if you mean it when you really want to ask." She grinned.

"Ok," Dick muttered, his cheeks still pink. He couldn't meet her eyes, still embarrassed. She poked his cheek.

"You don't have to be embarrassed. It's cute."

"I'm sorry," he quickly apologized, smiling a little. "I'm going to get some more cider. Be back," Dick kissed her cheek and walked into the kitchen as Jason returned to the living room.

"Stop making fun of him," Harley told him. "I mean, Tim's here, and you're going after Dick?"

"Hey!" Tim objected as Harley grinned. Jason shrugged.

"Both of them had it coming. He just happened to be the easy target that time," he smirked. "And I think I've almost tortured Tim enough. Almost. And apparently _you_ not enough for that," he nodded at Ivy.

"I just needed a Halloween costume," Ivy shrugged with a sly smirk.

"Uh huh." Harley scooped up a popcorn ball and threw it at her. "You're just asking for trouble in that outfit."

"What do you think, Dami?" Steph giggled, watching Harley and Ivy like a tennis match as she threw her arms around Damian.

"I am not getting involved in that," he replied, not taking his eyes away from the television.

"You're one to talk," Harley laughed at Steph. "Aren't you two technically cousins?" She gestured between the Superman symbols on Tim and Steph's chests.

"Yeah, but what's that got to do with anything?" She stuck her tongue out, and Tim's cheeks turned red.

"Ask Tim." Harley grinned. The doorbell rang, and she went to answer it, the chorus of 'trick or treat' echoing back into the living room.

"Tim what's she talkin' bout?" Steph said in a southern accent, throwing her arms over his shoulders.

"Nothing." He laughed self-consciously. "Cider?" He offered her his glass.

"Smooth," Jason taunted him.

"Oh they'll turn out ok," Selina laughed, watching Steph tear her arms away from Tim and skip away. He turned redder and looked away from her tiny skirt flouncing up with every step. "Stephanie you could have worn a little more than just underwear," Selina whispered as she passed her, and Steph stopped, distressed for a moment before she shrugged and went on. Selina grinned. "Then again, I'm not," she purred in Bruce's ear, a hand tightening on his shoulder.

"Bruce!" Harley called as she rejoined them. "That little kid was the cutest Batman I've ever seen."

"Oh?" he replied, a bit flustered.

"I think the fact that kids want to dress like you is sweet," Selina grinned, kissing his cheek. Harley laughed and sank onto the couch beside Damian.

"You are way too into this movie," she told him.

"Grayson and I used to watch it every year," he muttered. "It's puerile and nonsensical but I enjoy it." Onscreen, Linus was being berated by Sally for keeping her in the pumpkin patch all night.

"Yeah, he made me watch it with him this morning in case you and Bruce were going to go on patrol tonight." She smiled. "He wouldn't stop talking through it."

"He never does," Damian rolled his eyes and scoffed.

"He also sings through most movies too," she laughed. Damian smiled a little and glanced at her.

"It's beyond annoying," he agreed. Harley hugged him before he could object and stood up. She went to the kitchen to look for Dick.

"Dick?"

"Yeah?" He looked up from the slice of pie he was meticulously putting whipped cream on. She laughed as she watched him.

"It's not rocket science you know."

"I know," he chuckled a little sheepishly, putting down the spoonful of whipped cream.

"So Michelangelo is your masterpiece ready?" she teased, leaning against the doorframe.

"Do you want some?" He offered it to her, and he couldn't help but smile at her.

"I wouldn't dare ruin it," she laughed before kissing his cheek as she moved past him to refill her cider. Dick quietly ate a bite of pie, glancing at her.

"Does it bother you when I do that?" he asked. "When I say… will you marry me like that." She turned to look at him, carefully setting the cider down.

"Why would it bother me?"

"I don't know. Everyone else seemed like… I just didn't know if I should do it anymore," he shrugged.

"Who cares what they think?" She moved closer to him, pushing his pie away and wrapping her arms around his neck. "Besides, Selina and Steph only tease you because they want you to actually propose." It was the same reason she did. "And Bruce is always disapproving, so what's the matter?"

"I guess I worry too much," Dick smiled, holding her close.

"Always," she grinned and gave him a quick kiss. Dick grinned and hugged her tight, burying his face in her neck.

"I'll try to relax," he whispered, kissing her shoulder.

"Liar," she giggled, resting her head on his. Dick sighed happily and then cried out when Stephanie shouted 'boo' behind them.

"Damn it, Steph," he cried, laughing.

"What are you doing?" Harley demanded. Her hand was over her heart as she tried to steady her breathing.

"It's Halloween, so... Boo?" She frowned, and Dick waved her away.

"Its ok, Steph- are you ok Harles?" he asked, helping her to a chair.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she sighed. "Since when am I so easily scared? Pregnancy is turning me soft."

"No. You're just hormonal, you'll be fine. Still tougher than me," Dick assured her with a smile. She pursed her lips.

"It's gonna hurt," she breathed. "And I'm scared." She blushed as she admitted it.

"What? Oh Harley..." Dick cupped her face and kissed her forehead, looking her in the eyes. "You'll be ok. And then we'll have her forever."

"I know, it's just..." She furrowed her brow. "All the Lamaze and the books and the lessons, I know I'm supposed to be calm and happy, and all the moms who've had kids say it's worth it but... it's still going to hurt. A lot. And-and-" She looked down.

"Hey," Dick held her face, stroking her cheek. "I'll be right there beside you the whole way. It's going to be alright."

"Do you have to push a baby out?" she muttered. "I'm sorry. I know. I'm just overreacting."

"You're not overreacting. And you're right, I have no idea what you're going through. I'm here for you no matter what."

"I know." She leaned her forehead against his chest. "Just don't judge me if I bawl like a baby."

"I'll be right there crying with you," he grinned, hugging her tight.

"Then maybe they'll give _you_ the pain meds." She nudged him. "Dr. Canley says they'd have to keep building up the pain meds to keep me numbed with my immunity, but they baby might not have that tolerance so now I'm wishing Ivy had given me an epidural not the Antitoxin," she giggled.

"I'll be right there with you," he repeated, his cheek resting on her forehead. She was stressed, he knew, but he didn't know how to help. Especially when her talking about going through it made him terrified. He didn't want her to have to go through that, and there was nothing he could do.

"Thank you," she breathed. Her hands bunched in his jacket as she held him close. No matter how scared she was, she'd been trying to avoid thinking about it and she'd been especially trying not to worry Dick about it. He worried enough as it was.

"Do you want to rejoin the party? Or do you want to go lie down? I can kick everybody out," he laughed, kissing her head.

"Don't you dare. Bruce'll try and go on patrol, and you need to watch the movie with Damian because he misses you. Besides," she leaned back to look at him, "you're having too much fun hosting."

"I am," Dick chuckled. Tim shouted from the other room.

"Hostess!" he cried, holding up his glass. Dick rolled his eyes.

"Less so, now," he groaned.

"Go." She kissed his cheek. "Appease the crowd."

Dick kissed her one last time and walked out into the living room with drinks in his hands, replacing Selina and Tim's cups.

"Happy now?" He smirked.

"Ecstatic." Tim made a face back at him before gulping his cider.

"Good," he chuckled when he frowned at the glass. "It was non alcoholic," he clarified, and Jason laughed at him.

"Apparently the cutoff tonight is-" he looked at an imaginary watch- "too early." He chuckled, leaning back on the couch, Damian had migrated to the floor, playing with Wally.

"I wish Cass was here," Steph muttered. "She'd sneak me some of the good cider." She was leaning against Clark who was napping by the couch.

"No she wouldn't," Selina grinned, kissing Bruce's cheek. "And we're all done enabling you."

"Boo!" Steph called. "This holiday sucks!" Clark lifted his head up at her loud voice and looked at her. Dick laughed and shook his head.

"Sorry, Steph. You're cut off for tonight before you make some bad decisions." He took her empty glass with a smile.

"I'll make bad decisions no matter what, but with more alcohol, I don't have to remember them," she reasoned with a grin. Dick paused to consider that and frowned at Harley.

"Why does she _make sense_ when she's drunk?"

"It may make sense," Harley shrugged, "but it's not a good thing." Steph stuck her tongue out at her. Dick laughed and walked back into the kitchen, putting the glasses in the dishwasher. The doorbell rang and he went to answer it for the trick or treaters.

"Ugh," Ivy groaned from across the room. "This thing is so annoying." She pulled the Batgirl cowl off, and Jason leaned away from her arm in surprise as she tossed it to Steph.

"I warned you," Steph laughed. "I don't want it." She threw it back to Ivy who promptly flung it at Harley.

"Whoa." Harley grabbed it before it smacked her in the face. "You guys are so immature. At least you get to wear costumes." She pulled the cowl on and played with the rim of it across her cheeks. Dick made a strangled noise when he saw her and he tried to turn around and walk out, only to run into the doorframe. He winced and chuckled nervously.

"Ha ha, take it off," he said, his cheeks turning red again. Steph laughed.

"Aww, you scared him. Happy Halloween, loser," she smirked, and Dick scowled at her.

"What?" Harley asked. "I didn't get a costume. Why can't I wear it?"

"Because you're not a redhead," Steph offered.

"Neither were you," Harley retorted and Steph made a face of surprised agreement. Dick laughed again but remained by the door, his hands on his hips.

"Well go on, give us a pose," Selina grinned, waving a hand at Harley.

"Why?" Harley laughed. "What am I supposed to be? Batmother?"

"You wanted a costume," Selina shrugged, still beaming. Harley played with her hair sticking out of the bottom of the cowl, turning her head back and forth.

"How can you guys wear these?" She grinned at Dick. "They're so restricting."

"Well don't look at me," he muttered, and then cleared his throat. "I mean, I've always thought so. Ask Bruce and Tim; I never wore one except when I was Batman," he shifted a bit, crossing his arms. Tim shrugged.

"Mine's got a cape attached," he said simply. "I dunno. It's comfortable."

"Wearing a mask _at all_ is a complete hindrance of your field of sight," Damian added irritably and, Bruce shot him a look. Selina giggled.

"Never needed one," she agreed.

"It's completely useless. You can't move your neck," Harley muttered. She tried to look around to see her hair, playing with a strand. "But the hair part is fun." She and Steph grinned at each other.

"This one's old," Steph pointed out. "The newer ones are a lot more flexible. Much more mobility." She nodded enthusiastically.

"It's still really cool," Harley admitted. She tried to make a straight face in the mask but couldn't help giggling. Dick bit his lip watching her. Selina laughed, glancing at Dick before doing a double take. "Jesus, you look like you're in pain. Take a deep breath, Boy Wonder," she rolled her eyes and Dick chuckled nervously.

"I'm not- it looks good. You look good," he shrugged, shifting a bit. Bruce watched him with amusement in his eyes.

"Is something wrong?" Harley's brow furrowed in confusion as she looked at Dick.

"He's the one who _invented_ the crush crush thing," Steph giggled.

"Oh." Harley blushed. She pulled the mask off and handed it back to Ivy. "Sorry." She wouldn't meet anyone eyes as she retreated back to the kitchen. Dick followed her.

"Harley I'm sorry- it just kinda freaked me out," he admitted, and she felt the warmth of his hands on her arms, turning her to face him. "I overreacted- it was just a lot of weird conflicting feelings all at once-"

"-No. It's okay. I just didn't think about it." She shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It was my stupidity," he whispered, a hand tightening on her shoulder. He felt terrible. It had spooked him, seeing her in the Batgirl cowl. The worst part was, he didn't even know why. He didn't have feelings for Barbara anymore, at least not in a way that should ever conflict with his feelings for Harley, but he didn't know how to _tell her_ that in a way she'd believe. "You looked much cuter in it than she did," he smiled a little, watching her. Harley rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, but I'm pretty sure you _have_ to say that." She kissed his cheek. "I won't go putting other people's costumes again."

"You're sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"I just don't want you to think... Nothing. I love you." He kissed her head and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"I'm pretty sure you're the one they're all making fun of in there right now not me," she laughed. "I'm fine." She wasn't sure what she felt or what she wanted to feel.

"Yeah," Dick looked down. "At least they're having fun even if things haven't gone as planned for the party." He sighed slowly. "How are you feeling? Do you need to sit down? Eat something?"

"Can you feel it kicking?" Damian said quietly, and Dick jumped.

 _"Why_ does everyone keep _doing_ that?!" he cried, but Damian ignored him.

"Her. Can you feel _her_ kick?" he said again.

"No," Harley laughed. "She's not kicking right now. Why?"

"But you can? She moves?" He stepped forward curiously.

"Yeah, she moves around a lot actually. I can feel her move a lot, but she only kicks hard enough for others to feel her every now and again."

"Is that not _strange_?" Damian narrowed his eyes, watching her.

"No?" She grabbed her glass of cider. "It's completely normal. Sure it felt weird at first, but it's kinda reassuring."

"Strange," he repeated, eyeing her belly. Dick laughed. Damian glanced at him and scowled.

"I promise I'll let you know if she starts kicking," Harley assured him. "And you were a baby once too, so you were strange."

"I was designed in a lab by the world's top geneticists. If you want strange, look to your left." Damian said matter of factly. Harley looked up at Dick.

"Hey!" he whined.

"No one is strange," Harley interrupted. Damian smirked a little.

"Says the ex-murderous psychopath carrying the child of the ex-circus vigilante boy. We're _all_ strange, Harley Quinn." Damian walked out of the room with a popcorn ball, leaving them alone again to rejoin the noisy party in the other room.

"We'll never get a moment's peace," Dick sighed, smiling lovingly at Harley.

"That's what I keep trying to tell you." Harley giggled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Dick smiled and closed his eyes, and the doorbell rang as Tim and Jason shouted for him from the living room.

"You get the door, I feed the guests?" he asked, grinning and taking Harley's hands.

"Deal." She beamed up at him. "And we both know I'll be dealing with with the more mature group."

"Absolutely," Dick grinned and then kissed her cheek. "Happy Halloween." Harley giggled and gave him a quick kiss.

"Happy Halloween!"


	6. Batfamily One-Shot: The Ring

_**Taking place in Part Three, Chapter Thirty-Five: 'Happy', during Dick's errands.**_

Dick shuffled his heavy boots a bit on the concrete. He'd already gotten most of the groceries, and he'd run through the rest of the things on his list. All that was left was one thing.

A ring.

"Hey you!" he looked up in surprise to see Selina walk towards him, a hop in her step. Barbara trailed behind her.

"Oh. Hey, Selina," Dick broke into a smile, but it faltered when he saw Barbara. She blushed and looked down, tucking her hair behind her ear with a smile. Selina slapped her hand.

"Stop doing that."

"Doing what!?" She cried, and Dick laughed.

"Doing that thing. Both of you. That's going to piss Harley off someday," she warned. Dick laughed a bit awkwardly. Selina smiled. "So you needed my expertise, I hear," she elbowed him. He laughed.

"Yeah," Dick looked up at the jewelry store sign behind him. Selina beamed.

"Well I may not be able to hack into the Batcomputer, but I _do_ know diamonds, boy," she kissed his cheek and then walked into the store. Dick held the door open for Barbara, and they went inside. "Ivy should be meeting us here…" Selina trailed off at the sight of Jason. He was leaning against a glass counter of diamond bracelets popping pieces of popcorn in his mouth from a large bag as the girl behind the counter watched him with distaste.

"Sorry," Jason smirked, "she had a thing at work -something about Amazon plants I guess- but I decided this would be fun."

"What? Jason, you're- Why would you think- Why are you here?" Dick stuttered, blushing hard, his cheeks going redder.

"For the sheer joy of your embarrassment." He tossed another piece into his mouth.

"That's kinda shitty, Jason," Barbara crossed her arms. Selina waved a hand.

"That's okay because he's lying," she grinned and sauntered over to Jason, pinching a cheek and ruffling his short hair. "He's here because his big brother is taking a big step, and he's lying if he says he doesn't want to help or be a part of it."

"Right. He's probably just trying to nose his way into best man," Barbara laughed and elbowed Dick. "And we both know that's gonna be me."

Dick laughed merrily, putting his hands into his pockets.

"In reality, both of you are wrong, and I'm here because it's _really_ going to piss Damian off." Jason grinned.

"Why would Dam be mad?" Dick asked casually, walking past Jason. He kicked his shoe out from under him, making him lose his balance a bit. "I asked him to come. He said no. Don't act like you don't want to help me, Little Bro. Come on, Robin," he laughed, and then smiled at the woman at the counter. "Um, hello," he cleared his throat a bit.

"Don't worry," Jason told the lady, "he's delusional. We're here to humor him. He also thinks he'll marry Harley Quinn," he whispered. "Crazy right?"

The woman looked between them with a disturbed smile plastered unsurely on her face.

"He's kidding," Dick assured her quickly. "But I'll be the one you're helping today, Ma'am." He nodded politely, pushing some of his dark hair away from his face.

"Actually, you two will probably do most of the talking," Jason pointed between the lady and Selina.

"I'm not an expert, yeah," Dick laughed. Selina beamed at the woman at the counter.

"I am, of course," she giggled.

"But maybe take anything she says and tone it down a notch," Barbara suggested.

"I… are all of you one… I mean, of course," the woman smiled awkwardly. "I'm just going to get my manager to help you, he'll most likely know more, um… Dave?" She called to a man across the room, and he looked up in response to her voice.

"Of course. How may I help?" Dave asked, crisply dressed in a light gray suit.

"I… I may be looking for a ring," Dick shrugged. Barbara crossed her arms.

"Wow. Incredibly intelligently worded, Dick."

"Oh my," the man frowned, looking at Barbara distastefully.

"No, that's my _name_ ," Dick laughed. "Dick Grayson. I'm looking for an engagement ring."

"Oh I'm terribly sorry, Sir." Dave smiled. "We have a wide selection of rings, if you'd just follow me."

Selina and Dick looked at each other and followed him across the room. Barbara blew a strand of hair away from her face before looking at Jason with her arms crossed.

"Why _are_ you here?" she asked quietly.

"Ivy wants details." He shrugged. "And I've been ordered to make sure Selina doesn't go too ostentatious. Besides, someone has to distract the buffoon, so he doesn't freak out." He walked over to them. "So what are we thinking? I swear to God, if you say pink, I'm leaving."

"I don't know, actually." Dick bit his lip. "Wait, if I say pink, you'll leave? This one has a pink band, and it's kind of nice," he pointed out with a smirk.

"Everyone raise your hand who thinks she'd want a pink ring!" Jason looked around. "Anyone?"

"Ugh! Why are you even here, Jay? I don't know what I want. I don't know what _she'd_ want." He crossed his arms, his cheeks going pink again. Selina put her hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright," she assured him. "Let's just keep looking."

"Yes. We'll start with a price range," Dave smiled patiently.

"How much I want to spend on her doesn't have a cap," he shrugged.

"Yeah, he wants to spend forever," Jason mock gushed, leaning his elbows on the counter and batting his eyes. Barbara slapped the back of his head.

"Come here," she snapped as politely as possible. "Excuse us." Ruffling Jason's hair, she smiled widely and pulled his hair to guide him away.

"Don't harass him, Jason, come on!" She whined in a whisper. Barbara crossed her arms.

"What?!" Jason put his hands up in surrender. "That's something he'd say, right?"

"Yeah, he might, but he's open with his emotions. Better than having none at all," she glared at him through her glasses. "You don't need to be here, but since you are, you don't need to be such an ass." Barbara raised one eyebrow at him. She seemed touchier than usual. Something was bothering her, and it wasn't Jason.

"What's the matter with you, miss sunshine?" He crossed his arms. "Afraid he's going to get her a nicer ring than he got you?"

"No. But why do you think I was invited?" She looked at Jason pointedly, her voice lowered. "Selina knows jewelry. She's the only one of any use here. I know how Dick thinks." Barbara looked at him, then down at the floor. "I'm here because, whatever he did to screw up our relationship, he doesn't want to do again. And that's _fine._ I get that, and he and Harley seem to be good together. It just hurts, y'know? It still stings."

"And I'm here because all of you are idiots." Jason shrugged. "Major idiots." He went back over to the group. " _So_ ," he grinned, "any decisions?"

"I don't know," Dick whined. "Nothing... Speaks to me."

"Well they're not alive, Dick. Try using your eyes instead of your ears." Selina smacked Jason on the back of the head and he cried out. "Will you people stop doing that?!"

"Calm down," Barbara smacked him with a smile and then looked over Dick's shoulder. "Well that one is pretty," she pointed at a silver setting with small sapphires and a diamond. Dick cocked his head. "It's too high. Too big..." He frowned.

"God, this is going to take forever," Jason whined. He turned to the man behind the counter. "Hey, Dave was it? Do you have anything red and black. That would save so much time."

"Just because she's-"

"-No red and black, that might be nice," Dick interrupted Barbara.

"We don't have anything in red and black, but we do have several customizable settings," Dave walked around the counter to lead Dick to a display. "These eight are the settings, any cut, any gemstone." Dick examined them. Selina smiled.

"If you're looking at a low setting you can pick from these four," she pointed, and Dick nodded.

"Now who's the helpful one?" Jason whispered to Barbara.

"Oh please," Barbara hissed. "Selina is still the only one." Dick smiled, leaning down on the counter. Behind him, Barbara and Jason cocked their heads a bit. Barbara elbowed Jason with a smirk. "You don't have those assets," she muttered and snorted.

"Perfect," Dick smiled. "I really do like this setting."

"Finally we're getting somewhere!" Jason cheered. "And Selina, keep Barbara over by you."

"What? Why?" Selina looked up at Jason confusedly.

"Because... So Dick," Jason changed the subject, "when are you gonna pop the question?"

"I don't know. I mean she's turned me down so many times..." Dick bit his lip. "'Maybe this isn't a good idea. She didn't like it before."

"Yeah she only left her last guy, died, saved the world, and is pregnant with your child. She totally doesn't like you."

"No I mean she didn't like it when I proposed before. Maybe Bruce is right..."

"Oh you boys," Selina shook her head. "He's practically trained you to think that. I hate to break it to you, but Bruce is wrong a lot. And this doesn't concern him. If he wants to mother hen you, fine, but this is your choice, Dick. Not his. It's not his place, _even_ as your father, to tell you whether you're ready for this or not. Only you know."

"I know, but..."

"You'll be fine," Barbara said quietly. Dick looked at her, and she smiled reassuringly. Jason was counting on his fingers behind them.

"How long have you two been together?" He paused. "Do we count the time she was dead? What... like two months? Dang. I've been in a relationship with the same bottle of vodka longer than you two have been together... Okay that was a lie, but..."

"I know," Dick said, suddenly unsure again. He looked down at the small custom ring in his hand. "That _is_ true..." Barbara punched Jason in the side with a glare.

"Say something," she hissed almost inaudibly. "He'll listen to you, he already is. Stop tearing him down, damn it, he's your brother." Jason glared at her.

" _But_ I did get to see her sometimes when I visited Ivy, and she missed you a lot. No way she doesn't want to marry you." He punched Dick lightly in the arm. 'Happy?' he mouthed to Barbara. She glared at him as Dick shrugged and put the ring back down on the counter.

"I can't."

Jason groaned. "Don't you dare blame me for this," he warned Barbara. "Like I said, all of you, major idiots." He gestured to all of them. "For starters, don't bring your ex fiancee with you ring shopping. I don't care if she's your best friend. Also, you ever think how this makes Selina feel? Huh? She's been with Bruce since the dinosaurs, and you're here having her pick out a ring _not_ for her. And you guys call me the jerk. Also, Harley loves you, and you obviously love her, you useless excuse for a Robin. When exactly have you asked her to marry you? She'd mentioned nothing to me about it a week ago, so I can only assume it was recently, and let's face it, no good proposal could have happened in that time. So. Let's all just take a deep breath, realize we almost all died only a little while ago, and stop being morons. Am I right or am I right Dave?"

"I... You _weren't joking_ about marrying Harley Quinn...?" Dave stuttered, and Dick frowned.

"Well now that you've made me feel like total shit, Jason, it's all clear. I'm being too selfish. I don't need to worry about this right now," he snapped petulantly.

"God!" Jason cried in frustration. "You don't get it do you? I'm not going to baby you like they will." He gestured to Selina and Barbara. "You're my older brother for Pete's sake. Do you need me to spell it out for you? You like her. She likes you. You proposed like an ass. She said no. I want you to do this right. You're being an ass. Stop being an ass." He picked up the ring and put it back in Dick's hand. "You don't realize that she's not yours alone anymore; she's part of the family now. In fact, I kind of like her more than you right now. So stop fucking it up, or I'll have Ivy come down here." He picked his bag of popcorn back up and glared at all of them. Dick smiled a little.

"Jay... Thanks." He looked at the ring in his hand. "I _do_ like this one."

"And you do like her," Jason added, grabbing a handful of popcorn.

"No, I'm pretty certain that I love her," Dick smiled at the glittering ring. "And pretty certain that she'll love this."

"Good. Finally." Jason mutter through a mouthful of popcorn before swallowing. "Now Selina can talk shop about the three Ks-"

"-Cs-"

"-or whatever letter it is and the red and black diamond things-"

"- _Rubies_ and... oh, never mind," Selina sighed.

"I'll just get out of here and do something fun and useful with my time."

"Rubies, yeah. I think this will be perfect." Dick smiled at the ring. "Just perfect."


	7. Dick Grayson One-Shot: Nightmares

**_WOULD HAVE TAKEN PLACE after Harleywing: Part Five. This is an entirely theoretical chapter; a "what if the Joker had won" alternate ending. This is in no way canon to the story, all of our characters are alive and well._**

Dick glanced down at his phone again. No answer, still. He tapped his fingers on the desk, staring at the screen.

 _She's fine, you overprotective, worrying son of a..._

"Boss? You ok?"

Dick looked up. One of the newer stable hands that worked with the show horses, Peter something-or-other, had poked his head around the corner of the trailer door. Dick could hear the sounds of the circus just outside, a sound that used to comfort him. At the moment it only served as a reminder that he wasn't beside her. "Boss," Peter got his attention again, looking worried.

"I'm fine," Dick waved him away. "Just finishing up the tour paperwork. You guys are heading out of Gotham soon."

"I'll be glad of it, boss, this place gives me the heebies," he chuckled, closing the door behind him. Dick tapped his pen on the table again, glancing at his phone. _4:39._ Harley would be expecting him home for dinner soon. He shrugged and started in on the paperwork on his desk again.

 _No sense in waiting another half an hour_ , he thought, standing and walking to the door. He drove back home, thinking about the last time she texted him. The more he thought about it, the more he worried. She hadn't responded since this afternoon.

 _She's napping,_ he scolded himself. _Stop worrying._

"Harley?" Dick called, pushing the front door open. It slammed against the hall wall and he didn't bother to close it on his way into the dark house.

He tripped and landed hard- his head slamming on the carpet as he cried out. It was so dark he couldn't see, but he didn't have to. He could smell the sharp, metallic scent of blood, coating his face shoved into the carpet. He trembled, lifting a hand to feel it on his face, and he looked back at what he'd tripped over, fearing the worst. When he reached out he felt fur, sticky with blood.

"No," he choked, his eyes already welling with tears. He picked up Wally's head and stroked the dog's face, Clark was down the hallway in a bloody heap, and Dick looked at the stairs ascending into darkness.

"Harley!?" He screamed, scrambling up them.

* * *

Dick burst out of his bedroom. It was so dark, he couldn't see- he was cold, and he couldn't breathe.

"Dick!" Barbara shouted, grabbing his arms. He couldn't hear her, and he couldn't figure out why. She pushed him back and he fought her. His back hit the wall, and he finally realized that _he_ was screaming. He felt weak suddenly, and slid down as Barbara pushed him. "Dick," she breathed, wiping the sweat off of his face. Blood was on her fingers when she pulled them back, and she gasped and covered her mouth.

"Harley- where is she-?!" He breathed. Barbara went pale. "Where?!" He shouted, and she jumped.

"She's gone, Dick. Harley's been dead for months now-"

"-no- no," he choked. "See that was a _dream_. How those work, is I eventually get to _wake up_."

"She died four months ago, she was killed by-"

"-No!" Dick shouted at her. His heart was still pounding. _Why would she tell you this? Why would she lie? She wants to steal you from her._ "I won't let you lie to me," he cried.

"She was killed by the Joker," Barbara talked over him. If she could snap him out of this haze, like last time; she could save him from what was inevitably coming. "You remember, Dick. You found her. Her and Haly-"

"- _NO."_ He snapped, grabbing Barbara's hair, his face twisted in pain. Barbara cried out but fought to keep her face calm. "That didn't happen. She's alive here, somewhere- you _never_ liked her!"

"Dick," she said quietly. "She's gone."

"She's _here,_ " he insisted. "I was just late coming home-"

"Please."

"-She must have tried to come find me-"

"Don't do this. Don't make me do this. Harley and Haly are _gone._ "

"They are _not!_ " He screamed releasing her hair and shoving her back. Dick stared at her, panting, his face twisted in anguish. "No!" He pushed her again. Barbara opened her mouth in a silent cry of pain, but she didn't say anything more. Dick stared at her before walking back into the bedroom. With a scream, he pulled over the dresser against the wall, collapsing to his knees. _Whats happening...?_ His breathing hurt his chest, and he could see the room around him, but it was all black and white. Torn from reality.

"-I think it's time- we can't- he needs to be cared for-"

Barbara's voice wafted in from the hall, talking on her cell phone. Dick looked down, a hand on his throat.

"Barbara?" he asked, and there was a moment before she came into the room. Her eyes were wet behind her glasses and she ran her hand through her hair.

"Yeah?" She sniffed, crossing her arms.

"My throat feels cold," he whispered. She looked down.

"I'm sorry. Do you want some tea? Something warm? I could fix you something…"

"Where's Harley?" Dick breathed.

"She's… busy. Um… Selina and Ivy took her out for the night," She lied, her throat closing.

"Oh. Did they take Haly too?" He closed his eyes.

"Yeah, Dick. They'll- well tomorrow we'll take you to them."

He thought for a moment. "Aren't they coming back?"

Barbara watched him carefully. "No, they um…" she cleared her throat, putting on a good act. "They didn't want me to tell you, but they're planning a surprise party," she smiled forcedly. He didn't notice. "For you. I'm supposed to take you."

"Really?" He whispered.

"Yeah. Yeah so you should sleep. Get some rest so you're awake for the party." She crossed her arms and leaned against the doorframe. He was so much thinner than she ever could have imagined. He'd lost weight, muscle mass- she had to look away to keep her lip from trembling.

"Okay," was his only response. He climbed back up onto his bed carefully. "Have to be rested for Harles, Harley hates the dark circles. Make me look too old you know. Have to get some sleep or she knows I didn't sleep. She always knows…" he continued muttering to himself as he stared at the window. Jason had nailed it shut a few weeks ago. He couldn't remember why. Dick missed the curtains blowing in the wind at night.

"Sleep well, Dick," Barbara choked, walking back into the living room and covering her mouth, her body racked with sobs. She took a couple of gasping breaths before regaining her composure and lifting her phone to her ear again. "Did you hear that?"

"I heard it," Bruce said evenly. "I'll call Arkham in the morning."

"Where are we going?"

"I told you, sweetie, we're going to Arkham. We're paying Harley and Ivy a visit," Selina smiled brightly, glancing at Dick in the rearview mirror.

"Oh shit, you did say that. Sorry Selina," he smiled a little bit

"Jason, what's… what's going on?" Dick said nervously, turning away from his brother to escape the solemn looks, only to run into his father. "Bruce?"

"Dick. You know that I… I love you. I'd do anything for you, my son. You know that, don't you?"

"What? You… You guys are scaring me," he frowned, his heart beating in his ears. _You can't trust them. These aren't birthday wishes, these are goodbyes._ "Are these… Is this some sort of goodbye? I don't-" Dick stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. His back went rigid, and his jaw tightened.

"Dick-" Bruce snapped, panicking for a split second before Dick had grabbed the hand of the doctor that had touched him and twisted, not stopping when the man screamed. He pushed down on it, snapping his arm from the socket, and he kicked him away.

"Dick, stop!" Barbara sobbed, and Bruce caught his hand. Dick swung at him with the other, his teeth grit in a fury, a murderous look in his eye that Bruce had never seen. Three more doctors rushed forward to restrain him.

"Alright, alright," he smiled, relaxing. One held each of his arms, and Dick stopped struggling. "I get it. This is a joke. Harley put you all up to this." He grinned. His family watched on, their faces painted black and white, his vision hazy. "Come on, it's funny," he struggled a bit, and the grips tightened on his arms. "What, they take me to a cell now, and there's a cake and balloons? I bet Ivy's even there, huh? And Jim too?" He laughed. "This is a great surprise party, guys!" Dick began to struggle harder as the doctors dragged him back towards the regular patient wing. He cackled.

Selina choked back sobs and hid in Bruce's chest, who was rooted to the spot as he watched his son dragged away.

"It's so _funny_!" Dick shouted, his voice rising, the words spat through his teeth as he kicked and struggled. "You sure know how to plan them, babe! What a _party_!" He screamed, fighting with all his might against the doctors' grips on him, and he laughed. Dick howled with laughter as they dragged him down the corridor.


End file.
